Over It But Yet So Sad

I recently broke up with my ex of 3 1/2 years he is an alcoholic. He and I have a 6 month old son together it has only been a week but I can’t stop thinking of him. He drinks 8-10 16oz Budweiser a day there’s not many days he sober anymore. I love him with all my heart but I also have other children and I’m tired of breaking up and getting back together , we all walk on eggshells when he drinks in fear he will get angry. I don’t feel this is the life for children. He has another child who is six but his mother never lets him come around anymore because of his drinking. He promises me that he will slow down and when he does it’s only for few days to a week and he right back at it. He is 34 has no job and plays video games all day long his parents do everything for him from rent to extra cash. I am so devastated that we are apart but somehow I know it’s best. We have physically fought when he’s drunk because he becomes a different person he apologizes time after time but it never last. I guess my question is why am I so hurt and feel so lonely and I know he has physically Abe mentally abused me for over a year now. The last straw is when he put me and my children out of his home( although we have another home we been at his home for several months) and while my daughter was gathering the rest of her things from the bathroom he went in an urinated in the sink she’s 13 that was to much. I know it was because he was drunk but there is no excuse, to make matters worse my brother was there and I’m sure you can understand how my brother felt about this situation so my brother fought him and I have not talked to him since. I just need to know how to get through this it hurts me because he was not always so evil and self centered nor disrespectful his addiction has changed the man I thought I would spend my life with..I’m hurt
Shana31 Shana31
31-35
1 Response Dec 5, 2012

The behavior has exhibits will get worse over time. Protect your children, your heart hurts now but you will make it through this. Write down activities you used to participate in, look a few up, try to reconnect with those friends and family you have pushed away because of him. I know this story, I live your story. My boyfriend of almost 4 years has done many of the things you mentioned. We do not have children together but the episode of him peeing in the sink next to your daughter should be the final straw. When you find yourself missing call a friend. Let them know you miss him. Its ok and its normal and natural. My boyfriend when drunk has acted in disgusting horrible ways and yes it is because he was drinking but nothing will ever change. The sad truth is it will never change it will get worse until he commits to a 100% sober life. DO NOT think you can try to force this on him or change him. I think I can change this man for 4 years now and its not happening. I bet he was not always evil or disrespectful but he is this way now. Its ok if you do not feel strong. I did not feel strong, i moved out had my own apartment then feel back into EXACTLY what I thought I had left.