Finally Had It

I 've been with my bf for 4 years, lived together for a little over 2.  He's been an alcoholic since we met.  I didn't understand at first what was happening, being I had never been around a drunk.  He would be happy and funny and carefree and then one day his would mood would turn dark and he'd be drunk and saying the most horrible things and it hurt so much I just cried and cried.  Then the next day he'd tell me to just ignore it cuz he was drunk and he didn't mean it and it was no big deal.  Well you can't ignore it when someone calls you at 2am and says hes going to kill himself, then calls back and says he loves you, then calls back and says hes going to cheat on you.  It was absolutely nuts.  Finally about 6 months ago I had it and kicked him out.  He went on a two week binge and was the most horrible person on earth to me.  After it was over, he apologized and cried and said he'd changed.  I let him back (must be crazy) and he fell off the wagon once since then, but I let him back (still crazy).  Finally this last time he not only promised me he wouldn't drink but his child too.  I thought he was really a changed man.  I was fooled, cuz guess what?  He is now telling me he wants to drink and its no big deal.  He says don't worry it won't be as bad as before.  I know better.  So I stood my ground and said no, if you drink, you can't live here.  So guess what he chose?  The alcohol.  I miss the sober version of him but I will never let the drunk version of him hurt me ever again.  It's too bad, cuz the sober him is nice, but the drunk version is horrific.  His friends think I'm just trying to ruin his fun.  They haven't seen what I've seen.  The suicidal threats, hurting himself, the name calling.  I am a little sad but part of me is relieved its over.  I feel the worse for his child, I can't believe he lied to a kid.  Alcohol has made him lose his license, money, work, and now me.  But he still picks the alcohol.  He also doesn't like it that I refer to his friends as losers, but they are.  They've lost everything due to alcohol too.  Well enough.