I Want to Move On From My Alcoholic Ex
A few months ago at the age of 26, I decided to leave my alcoholic ex. We had been together for 10 years and we have an 8 year old son and I am also 4 months pregnant again. I have been through heel and back over the last year as has my son between chances after chances to be thrown in our face again. I've always supported myself, so while it was wrenching for me to leave my familiar prison, I was reasonably sure I could rebuild my life and start over as a single mother.
I will spare you the details of how wretchedly intolerable the situation was and how justified I was in leaving him, but they involved the usual alcoholic atrocities and then some: lying, gambling, refusing to take responsibility for his son, wont support us with a penny, financial disaster, verbal abuse, betrayal of trust, denial, physical and emotional estrangement, shifting of blame. I felt I had to leave him to save my own life and my sons, and since he blamed me for everything bad about his life, I thought he wouldn't ob
His family have been good to me trying to make sense of it all but of course no oe can make sense of it and seeing as he is refusing to admit he has a problem and blames me whenever anyones says anything to him then there is not much progress.
So putting all the hurt and lonliness aside I decided to seek advice from a solicitor as to formal maintenance payments and should he decide to see his son in the future to let him know there will be no argument from me.
While sometimes I feel like this is not his fault he has a problem he has a disease t does not stop the hurt, the betrayal. The knowing that he is out drinking being happy probably with other girls while we are sitiing at home enduring the pain.
I really want to distant myself from it and move on I really so for my own sanity aswell as happiness and being a proper mum to my boy and other child to come I jsut feel like I dont have closure.
I loved him once and still do alot the old him. I'd like to forgive him. But I don't know where he went; the person I loved is gone and only the addiction inhabits his body. He hates me and blames me for everything, including his drinking, even though he will not admit that he has a problem. Can you tell me how to move on, reach resolution and forgive myself, him and just move on??