How Much More Can I Take?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. And within that time, I've been cheated on, lied too, humiliated, and ashamed. Why am I still with him? Because with the absent of alcohol, he's an awesome guy who I can talk to about any and everything. Though the major reason is because I don't want to be alone. This is my first relationship ever, and I don't have siblings, or best friends who are attached to my hip. So every single day we are together, and every single day, physically I am not alone. But mentally I am in solitairy confinement. He drinks every week from anywhere between 2-4 days in a row. He doesn't go to bars, he just drinks at home. In October of 2008, he wrecked his car and claims alcohol was not a factor, but strongly believe it was. So he has been carless for almost half a year. So how does he get alcohol? There's a liqour store up the street from his house, so he will walk there, rain, shine, snow, or apocolypse. And when he is drinking at home, he is constantly glued to the internet. Sounds harmless at first, but he talks to girls all the time. He says he's trying to build a female fan base for when he forms a band so that they will come to shows. But there've been times where I've checked hiis messages, and they're not about music. But they're not all sexual either. Though most of the girls he's talked to, he has had sex with, but prior to meeting me. He also talks to ex girlfriends-especially the one who got him into trouble by being with him while underage, thus leading him to his alcoholism. I don't know how much more I can take. It's not like we live together or have children, so I don't know what to do. :(

superlady2287 superlady2287
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 10, 2010

Find a way to love yourself and move on....I know it's hard to think of being alone again...but if you are strong enough to have endured the last 3 yrs with him are strong enough to move your life into a more positive place....You can do it. Fear is the only thing holding you down....It's not him thats is holding you back...its your fear....push through it...and you will be saved.....:)<br />
You deserve the very best!!!!!!