Functioning AlcoholicIts weird to say straight out that my dad is an alcoholic because he doesnt act like one...in public anyway. He has a job that he goes to everyday, he is always there for us, his family, whenever we need it, he has never been abusive, had a drunken rage etc...which is what most people expect from an alcoholic.
Im thankful that the repercussions have not been physical, but they have definitely been emotional. When my parents first got divorced, it was partially because of that. I didnt understand that at the time, because i was only 7, but as i got older, the phone calls started. If we were supposed to be home by 10, he would call at 9:58, 9:59, 10:00, 10:05, 10:09, etc until someone answered. once we did answer, he would start arguing with us and wanting to know why we hadnt called, and would ramble for hours about the same things. He was impossible to talk to when he was drunk, and we fought every night on the phone. Eventually, I was the only one out of my mom, sister and me who would talk to him when he called, and whenever he did call something would slip into the conversation about how "all he wanted was to talk to his family" and how he missed us and loved us and wanted to be included.
Every time i heard this i was overcome with guilt, and still am today. He drank because we didnt want to talk to him, but we didnt want to talk to him because he drank, so it was a vicious cycle.
then, a little less than a year ago, he broke 5 vertebrae his back, and was hospitalized. we went to his apartment to clean for him for when he got out, and took all his alcohol with us when we were done. once he got back from the hospital, he was on vicodin. i spent many nights lying awake stressing about him mixing the two and something bad happening. as far as i know, since hes still on vicodin, he doesnt drink anymore..and he has become much more tolerable. he calls a few nights a week now, and everyone gets along for the most part.
im still very scared that he will end up going back to that once his back is better though. i pray to God that he has the strength to stay away from it.
Megalomaniac 16-18, F 5 Responses 2 Dec 21, 2007