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Functioning Alcoholic

Its weird to say straight out that my dad is an alcoholic because he doesnt act like one...in public anyway.  He has a job that he goes to everyday, he is always there for us, his family, whenever we need it, he has never been abusive, had a drunken rage etc...which is what most people expect from an alcoholic.

Im thankful that the repercussions have not been physical, but they have definitely been emotional.   When my parents first got divorced, it was partially because of that.  I didnt understand that at the time, because i was only 7, but as i got older, the phone calls started.  If we were supposed to be home by 10, he would call at 9:58, 9:59, 10:00, 10:05, 10:09, etc until someone answered.  once we did answer, he would start arguing with us and wanting to know why we hadnt called, and would ramble for hours about the same things.  He was impossible to talk to when he was drunk, and we fought every night on the phone.  Eventually, I was the only one out of my mom, sister and me who would talk to him when he called, and whenever he did call something would slip into the conversation about how "all he wanted was to talk to his family" and how he missed us and loved us and wanted to be included. 

Every time i heard this i was overcome with guilt, and still am today.  He drank because we didnt want to talk to him, but we didnt want to talk to him because he drank, so it was a vicious cycle.  

then, a little less than a year ago, he broke 5 vertebrae his back, and was hospitalized. we went to his apartment to clean for him for when he got out, and took all his alcohol with us when we were done.  once he got back from the hospital, he was on vicodin.  i spent many nights lying awake stressing about him mixing the two and something bad happening.  as far as i know, since hes still on vicodin, he doesnt drink anymore..and he has become much more tolerable.  he calls a few nights a week now, and everyone gets along for the most part. 

im still very scared that he will end up going back to that once his back is better though.  i pray to God that he has the strength to stay away from it.
Megalomaniac Megalomaniac 16-18, F 5 Responses Dec 21, 2007

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do yourself a favor: start researching Co-Dependence. It's a coping mechanism children of alcoholics use, and most of us have it who have an alcoholic parent. It can end up ruining your adult relationships & really paralyze your potential. I'm 43 yrs old. My Dad was only an alcoholic when I was a young kid, until about age 10 or so, but it still messed me up & I'm still trying to figure out how to change as a result of it.

do yourself a favor: start researching Co-Dependence. It's a coping mechanism children of alcoholics use, and most of us have it who have an alcoholic parent. It can end up ruining your adult relationships & really paralyze your potential. I'm 43 yrs old. My Dad was only an alcoholic when I was a young kid, until about age 10 or so, but it still messed me up & I'm still trying to figure out how to change as a result of it.

I can totally relate to where u r coming from. My father is like urs, he oes to work, he is an awesome person during the week but once the weekend comes he is a different person. I am glad that ur dad is getting better, I really hope it ends up working out for u all. My father doesnt think he has a problem so the battle is already lost. He got divorced when i was little due to the alcohol and now all he has is me and my daughter. It is quite common to feel guilt as a child of an alcoholic....I wish u all the best...

something that you could possibly suggest to him is an aa group.



i know it sounds a little typical to say but it could be worth a shot, my father was an alcohlic (well in mind he still is even if he doesn't drink anymore) for many many years and we found sending him to a rehab clinic and keeping him going to aa/narcotics anonymous meetings actually really helps him stay away from the booze.



i hope this could help in some way

i sorta share the same experience with you. my father has been an alcohalic for as long as i can remember. but as u said my father didnt show it really. it was lyk he hid it. but as i got older i could tell when he was drunk nd it made me upset. he would get very stubborn nd sensetive nd hard to talk to. my parents recently got a divorce nd the reason was pretty much because of his addiction. but he is at a rehab place nd is doing very well now. nd we talk and he sounds happy and i think he will come out of rehab just fine. just thought u would like to hear my story to give u support. maybe if ur dad goes back to his old self u can talk to your family into getting him into a place like my dad is at. theres some amazing places he can go to that might b able to help!



peace out