Alcoholic Husband

I believe my husband is an alcoholic. He doesnt drink every night that I know of, and has had trouble w/ alcohol in the past. Has even quit b/c it put a bad strain on our marriage and I left. Yet he picked it back up again, sopmetimes he drinks more than others and there are times he doesnt drink at all. Its mostly on the weekends. He cant have just a few it has to be 6 or more. He isnt mean to me or the kids when he drinks. Now sometimes if someone says something out of the way he will get mean but never towards me or the kids. He has been known to throw, punch, or break things, but never ever raised a hand at me or our kids. I grew up w a father that was a drunk and his mother is as well. I dont want this for our children and he is no where close to the way my father is but I believe my resentment towards alcohol is b/c how my father was and still is. I dont even want my husband to have 1 drink, b/c I know how it could end up. I constantly stay at him when he drinks, asking him how many he has had. He say's by me doing this it makes him want to drink even more. He want to hang out with friends, which I dont mind at all everyone needs time away, but there again when he is w/ friends drinking, im constantly worried how many he has had, I usually call alot and what if he gets pulled over gets a DUI or in a wreck and kills someone or himself. He works at night and when he gets off he wants to sit in the parking lot at work or ride over to a friends house and have a few to drink. Well I didnt know he was doing this until I found out he had lied to me about what time he got off, and he eventually told me he had lied b/c if he had told me the truth that he was going to a friends house or sitting in the parking lot drinking that I would fuss at him about it. Like I said he doesnt drink everyday, but when he does drink he doesnt know when to stop and then when he gets drunk he cant handle it, and acts stupid or does stupid stuff. Am I being to "controlling" as he would say or do you think he really has a problem??
sgpink sgpink
2 Responses May 19, 2012

Sorry to say this but he does have a problem. And sounds like lying with it. Him not telling you he is going to friends to drink. Is like hiding it. My husband did the same. Not telling me when he got of work(truck driver) and where he was going. The whole time he was drinking. My husband is verbally abusive to me and kids so I'm getting ready to divorce. Sorry you have dealt with this all your life. I too had an alcoholic father. So i never wanted my kids to go through this but here we are. Alcoholic father for them also. Anyway you need to take care of you and the kids. Stop worring about him it will only drive u crazy( it worked on me something terrible and almost comsumed my life)Do what is right for all of you. Here if you need a friend to talk with

I'm sorry your going though this, but if you have to ask is there a problem then most likely there is. I Use to wonder the same thing. I'm going though it right now the only difference is that my husband gets rude to me. He's been trying really hard to not drink alot. I have told him I'll give him one more chance for the kids sake. Maybe a little time alone togeter, no kibs, no alcohol. Sorry I don't have better advise just thought you might want to know your not alone.