Empty Promises??


I am 24 years old and my mother has been a heavy drinker since the day i can remember.

My mother has worked in a bar all her life and became friends with people who drank morning till night so i think she felt this was an ok thing to do.

My mother and father are still together after 30 years and my dad has kept this family together.
My Dad cooked, cleaned, brought us to school and made sure our homework was done.

My mother and father have always had a rocky relationship...but he has always stood by her.

Recently my mother has lost her job in the bar and her drinking has gone out of control.

We have always known she had a drink problem and approached her about it but false promises that she would stop things would return to ''Normal'' again after a short period of time.

I think we used to turn a blind eye to it as we didnt want to upset the house.

Last Thursday i got up at 7am to my Dad trying to hold up my mother. She had drank straight through the night. My sister and I went to my mothers doctor to get advice of how to stop this once and for all.

The following day we brought my mother to see him. He gave her detoxing tablets and we have made an appointment with a counciler for this Friday morning.

Since last Friday after seeing the Doctor my mother has sworn that she is off the drink and that she is going to get life back and she has started going to the gym every evening.

We took a family trip with her last weekend to try and show her there is more to life than drink but on this outting we realized she had a few sneeky drinks in the bathroom when she told us she was using her phone. We let it slide.

She then told us yesturday that she was going to the gym, i was ringing her phone to advise her that i had made her another appiontment to talk to her doctor and she would not answer. I rang my father and he went and found her in the pub. When he brought my mother home she advised she had to use the bathroom in the pub and that was the only reason she was in there. When my dad asked why there was a drink in front of her she told him that she only had a sip and that she didnt want to be rude because someone bought it for her.

Me and my sister sat down and spoke with my mother last night for 4 hours and she we told her ways to fill her day instead of going to the bar. we helped organize her day with things ''she would like to do''. My mother swore she wouldnt do it again that it was just a slip up and she will try extra hard to give it up. I honestly didnt believe her and i had every right not to.

Today my mother had another appointment with her doctor and she went straight to the pub after seeing him. She came home and my father found more drink in her ''Gym bag'' My mother lost it with my father for telling my and started to hit him and kick him and call him a c**t.
She told him that she was going to 'Milk'' him for all his worth if we put her away in rehab.

We are all at our withs end....I hate this woman with drink.....I hate my own mother....I hate this disease!!!!!!!!!

Alcoholism doesnt just bring down the alcoholic......it brings down the whole family!!!! I hate living at home and i really cant leave because i cant leave my father cope with this on his own!!!!!!!

NK2010 NK2010
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 11, 2010

Check out http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/<br />
Good luck hun.

I'm sorry to hear all this. But - at least your mum is admitting enough to go to her docrtors appts from time to time.<br />
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I know this may be hard to hear but if you hyave your dad's support, rehab may be an answer. The longer you leave it the harder it will be for her to get better - my mother has drunk for 25 years and it's impossible to even have a normal conversation with her, let alone get her to the doctor. It sounds like your dad loves you all very much and though it might hurt, if you can put her in rehab and she can get better, she won't blame you guys once her mind is clear, and you'll all be getting your lives back. <br />
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If you ever ewanted to chat, feel free to IM me. Good luck xxx