A Broad Outline

Like many who have dealt with an alcoholic parent I could tell you stories of what I have experienced living with an alcoholic. There is always the verbal abuse, the skewed views on what love is (in my mothers case buying gifts), the nearest item to my mother being thrown at whoever is unlucky at that time to be the target of her wrath, the constant repetitive stories or rants, screaming at all hours of the day, her inability to remember what she has done, obsessive paranoia and thoughts that usually fuel her rants, putting strangers out in public down with no concise sense that they can hear her, lack of concern for others and her own health, and selfishness. With all the hardships of being a child of an alcoholic the thing that has effected me the most is my mother's selfishness and need for attention. Woe is Me is term my brother's and I use to explain our mother's actions, whenever the what did mom do this time question is brought up. Since over the years my mother has neglected medical care for us children, because she believed we were not as hurt as she has been and did not know what it was like to be in pain. Since she has done everything and we have done nothing for her. Since she is in constant need for attention and will find any excuse to be the victim, including hurting herself. This need for attention and her ability to care more about drinking than her kids has left me with so much anger and pain. No matter how much love I have in my life the love from a mother can never be replaced.