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I Don't Want Her To See This

Yes, it's true.  My mother is an alcoholic, albeit a semi-functioning one.  Sure, she suffers from chronic pain all over her body due to fibromyalgia, but I just don't see it as an excuse to have been drinking steadily and at times heavily for the past 15 years.  She just found out she has diverticulitis and after 2 weeks of  not drinking, she had at least 4 mixed drinks tonight and started complaining to me how sick she is and all that jazz.  She becomes emotionally unstable and frequently mixes her pain pills with the alcohol.  While she is not addicted to her pain pills, she is very addicted to the alcohol.  Diverticulitis is aggravated by alcohol and she just keeps drinking and keeps saying she is going to stop, but we all know she is completely full of it on that subject.  My two brothers and I went through hell in a 2 year stretch when she was on disability and pretty much drank from the time she woke up until past midnight when we had to be in school the next day, trying to force her to go to bed and stop making noise because we had to sleep.  This was right after I had been treated for a brain tumor and I could not take that kind of stress and I still suffer with chronic pain today because I don't think I was able to heal correctly because I was always stressed about my mother's alcoholism and what crazy thing she was going to pull next under the influence.

I really don't want to talk about this any more because it is only going to bring back more bad memories that I just can't handle right now.

komickaze komickaze 26-30 2 Responses Dec 11, 2009

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Addicts are needy and self-centered. I know how painful it is to feel that way toward your own mother. I feel that way about mine. Like you, I get so angry that she only can think of her own pain or problems or need for drinks. Sometimes you just want to shake the hell out of them so they wake up. I'm sorry that you have this situation. I know how much it gets in to your heart. Sometimes I don't realize how much pain I hold back until I'm talking to my therapist about it. Maybe you should start seeing a therapist yourself or go to AL-ANON.

I am so sorry for your pain,i hope your mother realises what she is doing to her kids.She needs help to stop drinking before its to late.I have been there and i know how hard it is,please try to get her to listen to what she is putting you through.