My Story Resembles The Other Ones...Much like others in this group, my fetish has developped slowly and steadily. When I was young (9-10 y.o.) I sometimes had weird dreams in which I transformed into various animals. I remember it as being quite exciting and enjoyable. I found myself particularly interested by canine transformations (wolf, fox, dog, etc.). There was nothing sexual about it back then. Mostly weird about it is that there was no "outer motivation" or stimulation to have caused this interest... it just came out of my head.
After that, I started to fantasize about transforming into a wolf. I had (much like others here) a little "therianthropic" phase. Being an animal incarnate into a human body could somewhat explain how this obsession came to be without external stimuli. Around that time (10-11 y.o.), I started touching myself. First by accident in the shower, and so on. The weird thing is that I felt to need to pretend I was turning into a wolf. I would close my eyes and imagine that my P growing was in fact part erection/ part transformation. After that point, the fetish was pretty much enclosed into a sexual thing.
I started searching the net for more images to fuel my M sessions mental images. At first, Transformation Story Archives soft stories were enough. I eventually read the more "offensive" ones out of curiosity. Then, I Googled for actual movie sequences and images. Always soft at first.
I felt quite ashame about this. Why was I attracted to such a thing as ATF? I've never told anyone anything about this until today because I considered it too bizarre and abnormal. The fact is that... I've never had any girlfriend [having even turned down a few, but for other reasons: these girls were crazy and dumb]. I'm still quite confused about my sexuality. I think I'm heterosexual: the thought of two men together disgust me. But it seems even girls aren't quite attractive as the thought of myself becoming a canine or having canine genitalia. The idea of disguising myself as an animal is utterly absurd for me... hence I'm not a Furry.
Also weird, I hate real animals. They're disguting, unclean, smelly and dangerous. I fear dogs and they DON'T feel comfortable around me as well.
One day I stumbled upon Transfur and Arania's very large collection. It has even extended my fetish to other species a bit. Enjoying touching myself while looking at these images even troubles me today [22 y.o.]. I found it oddly weird when I read that, exactly like me, a few people here were particularly stimulated by Arania's sequence with the Necklaced Sorceress transformed a woman into a male wolf and the magic "backfires" unto her. There's something about that sequence...
Anyways, in conclusion, I'm confused about all this. Yet, I'm relieved to find I'm not alone feeling like this. However, I fear that this fetish will prevent me from having true feelings for a girl one day. At my age, I find my lack of experience awkward. Heck, I've never even kissed a girl. I feel like my inexperience shackles me to the fetish and thus begins a vicious circle where I never get actual experience.
Please feel free to comment and help me sort this out.