Can Asymmetry Be Beautiful?

I have always been aware of having an asymmetrical face, from a former best friend holding out a photo of me at school, surrounded by others, laughing, "This side of your face looks like you, and this side doesn't", to receiving comments that I talk out the side of my mouth. I think it didnt help having a best friend for years who would constantly humiliate me (I grew strong eventually and got the hell away from her).

Without trying to paint the picture of a monster, I can sort of like myself. I am told I'm pretty, but I cant help feel if I had jaw surgery to balance out my jawline, I'd feel more accepted by others, and more importantly by myself.
Since I was younger, the left side of my face has always been noticeably shorter (and flatter), and on the right side my jaw is a lot longer and wider,pushing my chin out to the side and elongating it. It's always clear to see in photos.
I'm aware I sound so vain! Vanity has only a small part, if really any part at all to do with it. Mainly its feeling insecure, and I'm so ashamed to say, I really want to feel pretty, to believe it.

Sometimes I tell myself, others have much bigger problems and are strong and seem to get on with life, then why cant you just love yourself the way you are, with all your flaws. That if more people accept what is unique and media stop shoving this image of perfection in everyone's faces all the time- those of us who are slightly different would not beat ourselves up over what makes us individual.

I am battling in my head between just accepting it, or getting surgery. Can this type of thing be fixed on the NHS if congenital? As from what I've heard its not cheap. Has anyone had orthognathic surgery, and what was it like?
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3 Responses Dec 6, 2012

I also have an asymmetric face and mine is definitely worst than yours, my cheek bone in the right is bigger than the left and basically, all my features in the right face are bigger than my left... My ears are not even symmetric.... I can't do anything about it so I tried to accept it.... And it set me fee....

I can feel you! I am a Nurse and once I aspired to be a police but a police' hairdo must be extremely short, the sides of your head must be shaved and I am concealing the huge disparity of the left and right side of my head by growing my hair as thick as it can be on the sides... .BTW I palpated my cheekbones and it appeared that my right cheekbone is smaller than my right, but my scalp is bigger on my right......

*sorry my left cheek bone is smaller on my right

You are a woman? It makes it easier for you to conceal the asymmetry unlike me... I want to shave my head because it adds swag and more manly but I cannot because it would highlight the asymmetry of my head..... But my barber do not care about my head and said it is normal, some people have asymmetric head but it do not make us lesser.....

Drew Barrymore, Kaley Cuoco, and many other famously beautiful people have asymmetric faces. It adds character, and can give a certain non-cookie-cutter type of unique beauty. For me, these people are especially attractive in a way that you can't quite put your finger on. I actually stumbled on this page searching "why are asymmetric faces so attractive" on google.

First of all, you do not sound in the least bit vain! I understand where you're coming from with the ''others have it worse, but they still survive'' thing, but truly loving yourself, no matter who you are, or what you look like, is very difficult to not only grab hold on, but to keep hold on to, as well.
And yes, you certainly can be beautiful with an asymmetric face! You were born into your body for a reason, you know. Whatever your purpose in life is, your body not only cannot hold you back, but also, it will serve you well! This is why you are perfect the way you are & do not need to change yourself!
I, myself, do not have the most symmetric face either, for two reasons. One being that i have a dent/bump on my nose. From one side, it will only show the slight dent, & the other will show the bump. And the other thing is that especially when i am concentrating, one of my eyebrows likes to go higher than the other- I think it has something to do with my nerves. You see, i can be a little afraid of these 'quirks', but there is no need to be! I have had more people tell me i am pretty, or even beautiful, than i have had people verbally abuse me over how i look. But even then, i don't truly care what people think of how i look because no matter what, it does not define my worth or how potentially great i could be (& the same goes for you!). And my other features aside, these features do help hold down a kind of 'trademark' of me. Nobody else looks quite like me, do they? And nobody else looks quite like you either!
Obviously it is your body & you have more of a right to it than anyone else, but please don't get surgery! You don't need it!! You ARE beautiful, trust me! <3 But i know learning to love yourself can be very difficult, but once you've really made ground, it will tend to get easier & easier as you go along, until one day, you'll look back & realize how much you've changed the way you see & you'll feel accomplished! And it's okay to have your bad days, it doesn't mean you're selfish or shallow, & it doesn't mean that you should give up. If those days come, just step out of the situation for a moment to see the full picture, & then you'll know that it will be over & everything will be okay- it's just you are experiencing a kind of 'emotional spiral'. This is when you need to meet the same thoughts/emotions over & over, & each time you meet them they will tend to become softer & softer, & you have to keep going through that until you come out at the top! I hope that made sense, i don't think i explained it the best way?
And you are completely right about the media shoving so-called 'perfection' in our faces, & that it would be so much more awesome if people would love being unique. But i don't know if you realized this, but you have pointed out that being 'ugly' is an illusion! It is a story!
I personally think that these are the rules to being beautiful/handsome (in order):
1) Try your best to view everyone as divine beings (because we are). This means to respect a person, even if they do not know how to hold themselves. Hatred is a lie, it merely exists in our imagination (although, sadly when people believe thoughts that invoke this imaginary creature, it does have awful consequences), this is why things like racism (for an example) causes problems- it does not fit as it is completely made up, & so, making it hatred. But it is also the reason why people should try their best to see through 'angel eyes' at others, & to see the differences between how someone may hold themselves, & who they truly are. If we do not, it merely mimics the imaginary creature named 'hatred', do you see? So in summary, the first rule is love, compassion, & respect (but you don't have to act like a parent towards everyone!).
2) Forgiveness! Forgive your past & yourself! It is very healthy! It helps you to shine!
3) Express who you are & do not be ashamed! Wear the clothes you love, style your hair the way you want, ANYTHING! Just be yourself! After all, weren't we made in 'god's' image?
Nobody can be attractive to everyone, it is impossible. So don't feel guilty if you choose to follow these rules of 'beauty', but yet, you fail to see someone's elses' unique beauty. Just don't hate another person is all ;).
Well, i hope that made some sense & that it helped you to feel even just a little bit better! You are beautiful! :)

Sorry i didn't reply earlier than this, i did mean to!
Yes, forgiving others can be an extremely hard thing to do, &amp; i understand that- i am still very much in the process of healing &amp; forgiving, too. But it's normal for these things to take some time, so just go at your pace, i'm not judging you! And i know how it feels to feel like there is nobody you can trust. I can't tell you how much i have, &amp; still do to a slightly smaller extent, have trouble having real, sturdy faith in another, but there are plenty of people with good hearts out there, so keep the faith that you will find more &amp; more of them as time slowly passes by!
I also went through that phase where i could appreciate other peoples' unique beauty, but when it came to me, it wasn't allowed! But i got through it because i saw through how hypocritical &amp; unfair it was. And honestly, experimenting with my image has done a lot more than i thought it could, &amp; it's very freeing! But it's just one way to boost self-esteem, of course.
And yes, people who hold themselves in disgusting manors can easily come across as rather repulsive, but it won't last as that is not their true identity. Not that it could justify being in any way abusive, obviously :).
Well, i still don't think of you as vain, despite what you say! I know it's been said many times before, but i shall repeat it as it is true- As long as you are not hateful, what another persons' opinion of you is, it does not truly matter. The people who are worthy to be accepted into your personal life will not hate you for something as meaningless as looks, but even so, it is highly likely they will still appreciate it. If someone likes your appearance, it is okay to be flattered by such a compliment, &amp; if someone expresses a dislike of it, that is their opinion &amp; it doesn't truly matter- like i said. What is most important is that you continue to evolve into a lady that only cares what she thinks of herself, &amp; never someone elses' opinion. But yes, it does take time, &amp; it is always okay to feel down, there's no pressure. And whatever you do (or don't do) with your looks, at least make sure you do it to please yourself &amp; not others- it is your body, after all!
Maybe it would be a good idea to change your wording when talking about yourself? Many people know that if a lie is said to you many times, you can easily start to believe it, so why would this be so different? Maybe try exchanging the word 'freak' with a softer version of that word, or even a phrase. I couldn't think of something to exchange it with (sorry!), but if you do decide to practice this, i think would be better if you follow your own fluidity anyway, if that made sense?
And it's absolutely no pain to type so many words &amp; sentences as i usually prefer it that way anyway! But thank you :)!
I know some day you'll love yourself, even if it can seem like it will never happen!