Food For Thought.

At some point, it's not only about the food anymore.



Did someone say shitt about you? Did someone hurt you? Did their words make you cringe?

You can eat it out.

You can find comfort in knowing food is there.

You can binge and binge and binge.

You can mask your fears in gulping that sandwich.

You can find love and warmth in something that is unlimited, unrestricted.

Are people commenting on your weight? Are you being attacked? Are you feeling helpless, lost?

You can shitt it out.

You can find comfort in knowing laxatives are there.

You can eat, and crap. Get rid of all those sins, those damn calories.

You can find refuge in knowing you have some control over this. You can give into this pleasure, without the repercussion.

When you look in the mirror, does it call you ugly? When you see others, do you feel less in comparison? When you eat, do you feel ashamed?

You can starve.

You can have the power, gain that control.

You can be your own savior, it's all about the self fulfilling prophecy

At some point it's not about the food anymore. Or perhaps it never was just about the food. Because in your mind, Thiness=Happiness. It's complex. Very complex. It's the loss and gain of control. It's the need, the dumbfounded struggle to push past the doors of perception and find peace. For if you can make yourself look a certain way, behave a certain way perhaps people will like you. Perhaps you can receive that love that's always been missing. Perhaps you can fill that void.

But it doesn't work.

That's the harsh reality.

And once you're in, it's hard to escape.

You're locked in the lies. Alone in the despair. And now, now-- it's your responsibility to get yourself out of this rut.

But how?

Taking that first step. Knowing you have a problem. And accepting that's that. A problem. It can kill if you let it. But the thoughts can dwindle if you fight them.

And honestly, who knows how long it will take.

It's a struggle.

It's a battle.

 But, it's a battle worth fighting in.