Balancing Health With Desire

All through high school, I have struggled with different types of eating disorders. Freshman year, I would over-eat. Sophomore year, I would binge and purge. Junior year was the biggest struggle. I began by starving myself. Later in the year I started taking Adderall to suppress my appetite. Surely enough, I became addicted to drugs and my eating disorder. I lost 48 lbs, and weighed 112lbs when I was put into residential treatment.

When I completed my treatment, things were looking up. I had gained weight and was not distraught by it, and I was eating a healthy amount for a teenager.

I am 8 days away from graduating as a senior now, and I'm falling into old patterns. Not only are my stress levels high during this transitional period, but my primary care physician has told me I need to go on an elimination diet due to my food sensitivities. I cannot eat gluten, dairy, soy, or red meats... That sure leaves a lot of room for not eating at all.

Just typing this out helps me realize my unhealthy patterns. I want to be healthy. I do not need to lose weight. I will continue my therapy and work towards a happy, healthy self.
Spaceghost94 Spaceghost94
18-21, F
2 Responses May 27, 2012

I hope you get there too, im proud that you are so fixed on your recovery its inspiring :) xXx

i hope u get it sweetiexx