Forever Fat

All my life I have been teased about my weight or how I look. I had problems with food as a young child, I would overeat and then throw up later on because I ate too much. My mother put me on a diet when I was in 4th grade because I was on the verge of getting diabetes. I loved her for that but as soon as I went to 6th grade I put on the weight again, no one teased me horribly but they would say I was fat, and well I had gym class at the time and well it was time to weigh ourselves and when i got on that scale i weighed 165 pounds and I was only 11 years old... How upset I was? very. Even a boy next to me said he didn't want to ask me because he knew it was a bad number. anyways in the summer I started to count my calories exercise so on and on but i didn't lose any weight so then by then 7th grade was over and 8th grade is when i stopped eating, people would tell me how much weight i lost and how beautiful i was, but they couldn't see anything, they didn't know the truth. I hated everyone but i mostly hated myself. because i was still so fat and ugly. I think I had my eating disorder because of my father... he always loved my sister, because she so skinny and pretty. So unlike me. When he introduces her to people he say "oh look my beautiful daughter," and then when he introduces me he's just like" oh and her". I hate myself, I'm just really waiting to die slowly. I want to get to 80, because that's perfection... I will always hate myself... life sucks because i was born...
GalacticForce GalacticForce
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 17, 2012

Im sorry, that's a very sad story, although I'm sure you really are beautiful, despite what you may think and what others think