Anorexia And Bulimia.

Ive been struggling with eating disordered behaviors for 11 years that have run the gamut from restricting, binging and purging, laxative abuse, ipecac syrup on one occasion, and over exercizing. I pretty much have it beat except for the occasional relapse when i feel the need to punish myself (bulimic behaviors) or the need to control my environment (anorexic behaviors). Also i have noticed a pattern where every year at about this time i tend to restrict for some reason, until i get down to a certain number, then im ok and i release myself from being resticted. Im not crazy..i dont even know why im telling you this. =/
Lilcuppa Lilcuppa
70+, F
6 Responses Sep 19, 2012

i have an eating disorder. you are the first person i have told. before i eat i think im going to enjoy this meal and not binge, but the bloating feeling afterwards is like a nasty voice inside my guts telling me to do it... guilt. i have been reading up on bulimia and am starting to get worried about the damage its doing to my body. i just cant stop... i hope you dont mind me sharing this with you. i just need some advice. i also hope you are safe and well xx

Is recovering really that great?
I mean I'm sure the trips to the restroom that haven't been planned or "created artificially" are nice, but does the gaining really not hurt you?

Actually, I look like an old hag without meat on my bones, so I'm doing it for vanity reasons.

That's relatable. I just feel so disgusted when I eat and I feel sickly afterwards >.<

i totally get it. i struggled with that mindset for a long time, and it still crops up occasionally.

All this just makes me more hungry than I already am. I will eat an extra piece of cake for you! I can even tape myself so you can live vicariously. Oh but seriously, I know it's no joke. Just like all the stuff people do inside their minds and to the world around them. I am glad you are doing better. All my friends together are like a great big rainbow collidascope of mental illness. I hate the suffering but I love how idiosyncratic it makes them.

you are making me love you as a friend copper. if thats ok.

Too late already loved you first! :p

Oh man. It's time to hug this **** out once and for all.

When u say restrict what does that mean?

It means to restrict caloric intake

I think we sometimes 'tell' things because we are getting ready to leave certain behaviours behind, it's a way of reminding ourselves where we want to be. {{{HUGS}}}

they taught us in treatment to keep journals so that we can use them as tools when we need them. :)

*big hugs*
Thanks for sharing this. We love you, just as you are; with your issues, resolved or not.
Oh and btw... you look gorgeous. You know that, right?

stand back foxy one, im having one of those spillage days.

why is ep taking away my fis
rst letters??

what the heck?

lmao *hugs*

lol never mind. *cuddles*

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