Recovery And Sickness.Hi all,
I just want to vent for a little bit, there's a small hidden question in this story, but I think we all know the ("just eat stupid *****!") answer to that. ;-)
First of all: I'm in recovery from a shifting eating disorder (diagnosisses are rather strict in terms, therefor my disorder shifts around between restrictive bulimia nervosa, EDNOS and anorexia nervosa), my great motivation is the fact I'm having surgery in late January: my BMI has to be 18,5 for that.
Since christmas I've been sick, it's probably a nasty case of the flu, even though I was starting to get worried it could be pneumonia yesterday, now I doubt that because I feel slightly better today.
I had a hard time eating these days (and to think christmas usually is a binge fest for most people) and now my food supply has ran out: I'm in trouble.
Since I'm sick I lost about 5 lbs and both the scale and the mirror shows me something I like and have really missed (bones! <3), wich triggers the need to continue this: I know I should go to the store (stores are closed tomorrow) to get food, but I just can't.
It's frustrating: I can't go and buy and eat food, but I know I can't keep restricting like this either, no "healthy weight" = no surgery and no surgery = not an option.
Really fed up with myself right now, so I I think this rant was totally reasonable.
Thanks for letting me rage a little bit. :-)