I Wish I Could Just Stop Making Myself Throw Up....

I first started throwing up about 7 months ago. I did it because i hate gaining weight. I started with cutting myself but i havent cut in 2 weeks...Its so addictive. I mean when I first started i thought to myself, oh, ill just do it everyonce in awhile or only when i eat big meals... but now, its like after i eat anything i cant wait to go to the bathroom and puke....I know its discusting but i just cant stop...I guess i just wish i was normal... if i could go back and do it all over again, i would DEFINATLY do it diffrently... I guess cutting and having an eating disorder gives me a sense of control over what i do or what heppens to me... I just wish it was like a light switch to turn it OFF! My parents dont know about it yet...but i dont know how long i can hide it.......

-Kassi

ifeelsoalone ifeelsoalone
18-21, F
10 Responses Jun 7, 2007

I am overweight and thinking of starting.
I know ist wrong but i cant spend my hole young life being bullied .
I think Id rather die skinny than live fat .
I cant take it im scared what should i do???

Wishful thinking won't get you anywhere hun. You have to make serious efforts to change yourself. The longer you wait, the more of a problem it's going to become. Stay strong, and stay positive and never give up.

I just started today, puking my first time. Hearing this makes me wanna stop but when I did it, it made me happy because I was not gaining any weight. I should stop today before it takes over life

I make myself puke.. & my one close friend that I told freaked.. I quit for about a week.. But once I started gaining weight again.. I started back up... It's uncontrollable ... I've been doing it since 6th grade ....

Oh Hunny Ive Been Where You Are I Know What It Feels Like To Want To Be In Control But DO You Wanna Be in Control Of Your Death? I Know You prob Think "Oh It Will Never Happen To Me But Guees What? Neither Did But It Did I Was In Gym & Collapsed I Was In My Senior Year & 18 & Weighed 82 Pounds, Please If You Need To Ever Talk Im Always here Kay? Im On Facebook Or You Cud Message Me On Here Or Text Me Just Talk To Someone If You ave The Urge To Cut Or Binge <br />
Best Of Luck BabyCakkkeesss <br />
Love, Nicolette C:

i have been making my self throw up for about 3 or 4 months and at first i thought i had control over it but now its getting harder and harder not to do it. its became a habit and has effected my mood and everything it got so bad i just started crying and fussing at my older sister for nothing and i finally told her. she was mad at me for not letting her know sooner and is real worried because i cant help it any longer so lately i have been eating around her and not leaving and we have been having fun she takes my mind off of the urge but it is still hard i cant even keep a snack down sometimes. when you do try to stop you will feel so bad because your stomach is not used to the food anymore and the feeling to puke will just intensify and it sucks big time but im still trying to stop and i hope you can stop it to.

The sooner you tell someone the sooner you can get it sorted. Tell someone you can trust and it will take a whole weight off your shoulders. You shouldn't have to go through something like this, let alone tackle it on your own!<br />
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The control that you feel isn't your control over you eating and your life. It's the eating disorder that is controlling you! <br />
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Well done for posting on this site - it shows you know there is a problem and you have seeked help. Now take the next step to recovery and seek help from a professional<br />
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Good luck, hope all goes well<br />
UB x x x

Sweetie! I wish you the best of luck when dealing with your cutting and regurgitating. Remember to be strong and fortitudinous! I believe in you! Good luck

Having an eating disorder is a seriouse illness and it should get treated as soon as possible before it is too late. You already realized that it is not normal and you are wishing you could stop. So don't just say, stand up and act. Get help. Talk to people. Go see a doctor and a psychotherapist.

well...its very Difficult to Control yourself about what you do...but i think you can Stop...All u have to Do is..Enjoy ur meals..you dont need to throw up...and you can just eat then do a little bit of exercise...i use to make myself throw up as well and its not very pretty, i stopped and now just eat and exercise it actually helps you..try to keep ur mind of off making yourself puke and dont make a habit 2 continue..prove to yourself you CAN STOP.....hope everything turns out well...