Hide, Binge, Starve.

I don't know if this counts as an eating disorder.

I will go all day long without eating, than when everyone is asleep I will eat a whole bunch of food before I go to sleep. I will eat a sandwich, crackers, cookies. Whatever I can really. Than I'll go the whole next day not eating, & if I feel guilty enough about what I ate the night before I won't eat until the next night. I hate family dinners, dinner parties or eating in a restaurant. I hate when people watch me eat. If I go to a family dinner or a dinner party of any kind. I will eat as little as possible & hide as much food as I can without being noticed. I put it in a napkin, anywhere as long as I don't have to eat it. I take as much bread as I can because it leaves crumbs on my plate & it's more filling so I can go longer without eating. & I can eat it when I know no one is looking.

I am not incredibly overweight. I used to weight 205 now I am down to 165-170 it is always in & around there. I got sick (I wrote about it in my anemia story) which it how I lost all my weight. But, before I was sick I didn't have such an issue with eating. I would still binge & than starve myself for days. But, I wasn't shy with eating in front of people. I'm really not sure what caused this. I used to be much worse with the binging. I would go 4 or 5 days with eating a peice of bread per day & nothing else. I could easily drop 10 pounds in a week.

 During my childhood my Dad always told me I was too chubby, I needed to loose weight. My Grandfather would try & make me do exercises anytime he saw me.. he would make me do sit ups & tell me how I needed to get on top of my weight. I was never huge, I was just chubbier than other kids my age. I am really self concious.

Aleighsha Aleighsha
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 12, 2010

Thank-you. Well, my Grandfather was in the army & he is very fit for his age. My Father is overweight so.. I think he takes out all the crap my grandfather gave him on me. <br />
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I am putting some weight back on, but I was expected to after I started getting my needles. Hopefully I can take it off in a healthy way soon... I'm trying! :)

Yes, I guess it could be a form of bulimia. It is definitely a tough thing to go through, the last thing I want to do is harm myself in anyway. Thank-you for being supportive.

Aw, thank-you.