What To Do

Daughter in law will not let son talk to us and is punishing us by not allowing us to see the grandkids. This silence started 5 weeks ago. We raised the grandkids for 5 years prior to my son meeting this women. These kids are not hers she did have a child with my son so now my son has 3 kids. The story is ugly and too long to write. what do I do?

p.s. I am not the foulmouth she has a foulmouth and a temper.


foulmouth foulmouth
56-60, F
32 Responses Dec 17, 2009

This is an old post but let me tell you that anyone who would try for grandparents rights is wrong and should never be allowed to see the kids again. Who the hell do you all think that you are that you actually think you should do this thing?

And the ones whose sons are not "allowed" to contact them? Um....they are big boys. Men. If they want to do something, they will do it. Obviously you don't know men if you think that they would be allowed or not allowed to do something.

Knowing so many people are in your situation might be a comfort. Knowing the kids will eventually be old enough to make their own choices helps, even though that seems so far off. Knowing that they know how YOU feel, kids are smart, and that if you could you would see them more if you could, is a comfort. There is less contention for the kids in this type of dysfunctional home when you leave them alone. Just leave the issue alone. I sat at sporting events just to see my grandkids who were not allowed to look at me much less greet me. I went just to see them but realized it was more stressful for them knowing it started a fight for the parents later. I volunteered at their schools for the same reasons until teachers were instructed not to let me come into their classrooms even though they appreciated the help.
This started when I allowed my daughter to live with me until she could get on her feet, 12 years of off and on again marriages. I helped her go to college, supported her and her kids, read them stories, gave her breaks. The day she graduated from college she moved out and married a man who alienated her from us. He was jealous. Fast forward 8 years after she left and we now have 2 gkids in college and one in high school who wild horses cannot keep away. They are finally able to come over on their own. Yes, we lost lots of time. Yes, they are angry at their mom for allowing this to happen. Yes, the husband is now out of the picture after the damage he caused. Yes, I am older and more tired and these kids need a lot of counseling. And yes, my daughter is sorry, regretful and devastated for the pain this all caused. We can't pick up the pieces and glue them back together again, but we never stopped loving our daughter or our GKs. It's tragic, but don't waste your time trying. They will grow up some day and the truth will be known.
To do it over again, hmm, that's hard to say. I cherish the memories of when they were little, then we had an 8 year gap of estrangement- maybe I wouldn't have worn myself out trying to see them. I had to wait for them to grow up and their Mom to see the man she married was jealous for no reason. We never wanted to be their parents. He just wouldn't let us be their grandparents. And in the end they despise him for it.
We have a son and wife super controlling with their kids. So after this experience with our daughter, we just aren't getting that close to these GK. Been there, done that. If they are able to get to know us when they grow up, they will know why things were the way they are. Until then, I pray for them all.

I totally relate to what you are going through!! I have a daughter in-law from Hell. I do not use foul language she yells and curses at me for no reason. She says very degrading and disgusting things to me and my son just stands by while she disrespects me. He was not raised that way and he would have always stood up for me when someone hurt me. But then she somehow turns it around and convinces him that we are out to get her. My x-husband and his family also have had many occasions where she has attacked them verbally. None of the family wants to have anything to do with them. I love my son!! It is so hard to stand by and watch him be manipulated by her.

Add a response...

I have a similar, if not exact experience than yours. My DIL throws screaming tantrums and regularly alienates my son from his mother, father, step-father, brother, cousins... well, whole family. I have tried kindness, distance, etc. The kids miss me (there are five) and cry for me, but I have been banned from volunteering at their school, teaching them to sew, even dancing with them. I'm called horrible names, and if I try to contradict her stories about me (I am a child abuser) she calls me a liar.

My son backs her up, which is most heartbreaking. Our family has always been close and harmonious. My son's first wife (mother of eldest 3 kids) was a close friend. Now the new wife demonizes her, me, and anyone else who has been close to my son. He is caught in the middle and ewatches sports and works late. I was banished for over a year, and am recently allowed to see my grandkids (but "not trusted") but I am in constant fear of another blow up. She's terrifying, and uses foul language and screams in front of the children. Recently the 3 year old was screaming and clinging to my leg.

I am trying to be strong for my son and beloved grandchildren, but this abuse has taken a toll on my own health. She has no friends, so I try to befriend her and calm the situation. But I knw it's going to happen again. Oh, and she hates my other son's wife, and tells lies around town about her. I love my other daughter-in-law. She's normal, and she is very protective of me and wants me to "stay away" for health reasons. But I can't because I can'tabandon my son or g'kids.

What's really crazy is that all the stories are about bad mothers-in-law, but I've heard about so many vicious DILd in the past four years. It's a nightmare.

I have the same story, it is very scary how similar the two are. I don't know what to do. My son is controlled by her an it is very scary. I fear for my son. I am lucky that right now they don't have children together she has one from another marriage. She is a habitual liar! She makes up lies about everyone and causes to much dissension in the family that we didn't have before. She tries to keep everything stirred up and she has convinced my son that we are all against her. She lies so much I can't believe my son doesn't catch her lies all the time. She knows everyone and everything. She terrifies me. I am afraid she is capable of hurting my son if it served her purpose and he is blind to her. She is ugly and there is nothing pretty about her. He has always dated pretty girls. Then he dated her and got married. I just don't get it and either does anyone else.

Did it ever occur to you that your son CHOSE not to talk to you? My own mom told people that my hubby wouldn't let me talk to her. Lies! I hate my egg donor.

You hate your egg donor.. Mercy, I hope your relationship has changed since you wrote the above...

My DIL has cut me off from my son and their adopted daughters. She has done the same thing to both his sisters and their families. In other words she has eliminated any competition from any of his family. My son is in the military and they have lived all over the country which has worked well for her plan. They came back home last month. My son's father (my ex) has Parkinson's and has only a few years to live. She allows our son to speak to him, but nobody else. My oldest daughter has been struggling with this because she had always been close to her brother. She asked her father if he thought she could call her brother on the telephone to chat now that they have come home. She called and had a nice talk with her brother (DIL was working) until his wife came home and saw the unfamiliar number on her phone's caller ID machine. She called and when my daughter answered she hung up. Then she sent an email telling my daughter "How dare you call. Never call again or I will change the number and nobody will ever get it again." <br />
This type of behavior has been going on for over a year and we are all sick to death of it. DIL claims it is all our fault because we are so awful to her, so far I've been trying to get some sense of what wrongs she feels have been done to her and can't figure it out. She has even cut-off an adult foster child that did a terrible thing to her. He came to her FIL's Christmas party and spoke to the family members she has refused to have anything to do with. <br />
Her bizarre actions leave me thinking she must have some mental issue, but it also makes me heartbroken that my son is living with this vendictive person. My husband believes she is dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. He believes my son will eventually see the light. I cry for my grandchildren and my son and all of us who have tried and failed to make her a part of our family.

I know exactly how you feel. I dealing with similar behavior of DIL. My heart hurts and her action has literally aged me. My DIL has all these rules that make no sense. She screams on the phone to everyone in our family. If we are aloud to speak to my son she is screaming in the back ground.. My son is so in love with her. So far she seems to make my son very happy. I feel the further I stay away the better for my son.. She creates so much havoc in our family, I told her I wont have any family gatherings because of her. She was upset and told me that's crazy, that everyone can just tolerate each other for the outing.. I said,,,,, Tolerating each other is not a family function for anyone. Everyone walking on egg shells for one person, knowing at any moment she will have a melt down!! I will have you over with my son with out other family member around. I have had to put my foot down.. I have decided to live and be happy with only happy people... Your either in or your out.... My heart still hurts but, its getting better each day... Love life. Only be around those with positive attitudes... Lead my example, even if its from afar... :)

i have the same problem i have not spoken to my son 10 years,because when she came over i was never able to speak to my son.now it as been over a year he as not spoken to us my husband and i,i wrote to him no answr she controls everthing around him,i feel she is jealous and doesn,t like me at all,i decided it is the last letter i send him i am making myself sick,i don,t even know if he received my letters

I also get on a dil sight. It is not a mil bashing site. It's a place where dil's can go to get help to try to get along with their mil's. sometimes it is just not possible. I'm a dil and a mil, both. And i don't have any trouble being either. but maybe that's because i had a mil that didn't intrude on our lives. Gave us advice when we asked for it. Didn't try to take over our kids like they were theres. And i don't intrude on my daughters life. I just want them to be happy. And that includes loving the person that they love - because that person makes them happy. But, some mil's want their sons to only be happy with them. I've seen alot of jealousy, which imo is really stupid. We are their mothers. So, if your son has kicked you out of his life - i imagine it's because you couldn't accept and respect his wife. And alot of mil's are just plain nasty. Sorry, but i wouldn't want that in my life either. I feel sorry for the mil's and mothers that have no relationships with their children, and won't admit that it's their own fault.

all you DIL that don't like your MIL STAY OFF THIS SITE!!! Create your own site & complain on it. This situation is VERY REAL & Heartbreaking for women who are completely ignored by their son & grandkids!! If you haven't "walked in these shoes" you know absolutely NOTHING about this awful situation! My son is so brainwashed by his wife that my husband & I are dumbfounded by his behavior. Two yrs. ago our son asked to come to our house one night because he was very upset. Of course we said yes he could come over. He sobbed for 2 hrs. because he had so many "expectations" from his wife he was completely stressed out. He has a full time job but is also expected him to get the kids from school, stay home when they are sick, do all the cooking/laundry/shopping while she's off training for marathons, going to spinning class or<br />
whatever else she wants to do. Actually, we weren't @ all surprised he fell apart because we could see it coming. Something had to give! We make NO demands of their time & always tell them whatever they want to do is OK with us. We suggested to him that night maybe he should talk to a counselor for an ob<x>jective view of things. We never once blamed her for anything & told him we would support him whatever happened. He begged us not to tell his wife he'd stopped over to see us because he said "things would go much worse for him". I didn't understand what that meant @ the time but I do now. Either he told her or she found out he spoke with us because that was the end of any relationship with their family & our 2 beautiful grandkids!! That was 2 yrs. ago! If we try to talk to our son he looks @ us like we're crazy. Both of us can't be crazy! He has become a complete stranger to both of us. This has been a heartbreaking nightmare & the family relationship is forever broken. Our DIL has a very serious personality disorder. But guess what?....she's perfect! We have tried to stay in the backround & never intefere in their marriage. Everything ended for us with one siuation....we let our son come over to talk to us that night & that was the end. <br />
So STAY OUT of this if you haven't had this terrible experience because you have NO idea how awful this is!!!

Wow… and I thought it was my imagination. I am an only child, my son is an only child and currently, he has an only child. The situation I've experienced is similar. What disturbs me the most is, I feel as though my son thinks I'm not doing enough to make life easy for him. However, what disturbs me is, his thought process has changed… the things he once believed seems to have changed. I've been trying to figure out, when did I become the enemy? Each time we do have a conversation, it ends in the most awkward way… no resolution or understanding. Yes, I understand a husband should cleave to his wife, but that doesn't mean because you're married you stop honoring the parents who were the vessels of life. I'm so frustrated these days to the point where I've just about left it alone… So, hang in there and I pray that soon your son will come back to himself, as I pray that mine will do the same.

My husband and I have dealt with a DIL that has been diagnosed with Bipolar disease. Her own mother told me that she ran around when she was a teenager, tried to commit suicide, was molested by a male relative, her husband was physically and verbally abusive to all the kids while they were children, DIL was sent to rehabilitation for mental health, got married at 17, child at 18, divorced at 19. She then met our son and we lost him to her within a year. Now, there may be DILs out there that will defend the DIL and put me down, but there is the one statement that I read above "unless you're in our shoes, don't make a judgment". I never did anything to her. I realized soon after my son started to date her that she was manipulative, mean and just cruel. Everything had to be her way and many times we heard her say "No one, no one is ever going to tell me what to do". Well, almost 10 years later, threats to my life, threats to my son's best friend, vandalism to our vehicles, checks being stolen from our older son and so many more incidents that it makes our minds spin, we don't have a relationship with our son. And he thinks it's because we won't try. We have tried to suggest meeting in a public place to talk more than several times and she always has him cancel. We've tried setting up counseling and because we didn't ask her if the date was ok, they cancelled. (there is more to that part of the story too). It plainly comes down to this: there are some women that have serious emotional and mental issues. They marry, but then they (as a counselor tried to explain to my husband and I), literally brain wash their husbands into believing things that are just not true. My own son came to my home one day and told me that I was abusive to him as a child. I did so much for both my children, volunteered at school, supported both children in after school activities, saw that they attended church, chaparoned school outings, etc., but I was the "abusive" one. My husband and I have both seen cuts, scratches and bruises on our son while being married to her. We are devastated and so hurt that we have "lost" our son to this type of woman. I am sure there are DILs out there that have been mistreated or spoken to unkindly, but that is not who I or my husband are. We, like most parents, wanted someone who would love and respect our children in a marital relationship, not someone who would be so dominating and controlling. I wish there was a way that we could get through to our son, but realize that he is no longer capable of making decisions. He texted me just a few weeks ago that "it's easier to side with her than to live with her if he doesn't". I pray for his and the childrens safety, that they are kept safe and that she doesn't become angry and hurt them because they didn't do/say what she wanted. I am saddened that there are so many support groups for abused women, and virtually nothing for men or families of abused men. And yes, I realize that these support groups are only good if the man decides he wants to make a change. My husband and I just this week decided that we can no longer participate in her cruel treatment of us. Although it breaks our hearts, we will not pursue a relationship as it has become to painful to ride the roller coaster every few months. The most hurtful part is that her family can do no wrong and we have been accused of ruining things for them. Our son is treated like a second class citizen by her family and he is so beaten down that he doesn't even realize it. Another heartbreak for his dad and I. The grandchildren are now 9, 7 and 3. We pray for their safety all the time. My heart goes out to all MILs that have been treated horribly by their DILs.

i have a daughter n law who has moved away and told my son im not alowed to see my grandson even though for the first month of his life i watched him every day it started when i let them borrow a car to take him home from the hospital wich ended up being months till it was in default i told them they had to pay or give it back well i had to take it back my dil and son ended up sighning an agreement to pay for the car because NOONE else would help them so i gave it back it took them 3 days to blow it up now that she cant use me any more im not allowed to see my gs and my dil cusses him and cuts herself theres too much too list .... sad in texas

What are her reasons, Me and my husband decided not to let his mother see our two year old. She has been terrible, she sent anonymous emails to us. She told me he cheated on me. She lies, she manipulates, she plays the victim. She thinks that I brained washed her son but that's just thinking his son doesn't have a mind of her own. He is tired of her trying to decide if he is happy or not. The only thing that she is doing is pushing him apart. Mothers in law please be wiser. Don't impose, leave your own lifes, learn from other peoples experience. Accept your mistakes, don't ever attack your daughters in law, bite your tongues, nobody asked for your opinion. Lady if she has a temper is not your problem, your son loves her anyways, I'm sure he loves her for that. Again don'tthink that she is not letting him talk to you, he is not an idiot. And if she's taking care of your sons kids, she's probably a great, generous woman. Tell the whole story....accept what you have done and apologiza if you have to, otherwise you are going to be left alone. Go to therapy. I don't believe for a second that you are a saint and didn't do anything. My MIL hurt my husband so much by tring to attack me. We now go to therapy and it was our therapist advice to kill the relationship with her because she was toxic.

What "rights" do grandparents have? I have never heard of such a thing! If the parents do not want the grandparents around that's that! It's not your kid!

Not true. I went to a lawyer, and in many states grandparents are allowed visiting rights, and even custody rights. Check your facts/d by me and my husband, and will never tolerate us again. I am concerned because my son is dwindling, losing weight, and drinking too much. She has destroyed his life; and that is what I mourn for. MarieLucille: stay strong and stay alive because those you love will return and will need you again.

And to all you MIL haters-- you don't have a clue. Go away.

I am an "evil DIL" too bc my son wants nothing to do with his family. My MIL thinks I control him and that's ridiculous! He's a grown man and has decided not to have her in our lives because she is rude to me and is obsessed with our daughter. She is currently trying to get us to divorce in hopes that she can take my daughter from me! There are always two sides to every story but if your son is happy without you in their lives why can't you respect that??

my daughter in law refuses to let us see the grandson, my husband and I dont smoke or drink yet the evil daughter in law complains about her mother April smoking too much pot around the 2 yr old grandson who has asthma.....everything with evil daughter in law is a DOUBLE STANDARD....quite drepressing....we took lil grandson to chuck e cheese, she was soooo angry we arnt allowed to see him anymore even though we had grandsons daddys permission

My name is Amy - I am an associate producer with a production company in NYC. I was just reading your post and I wanted to let you know I am currently casting a new show for A&E about people having issues with their in-laws. After reading your post, I think your family might benefit from our series. If you love your in-laws but want to learn to adapt to each other’s way of life- and become closer, this is the show for you! Families on this show will have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work with a professional relationship expert to help your family understand each others way of life. I would love to hear more about your situation... Please shoot me an email at amy.cummings@leftfieldpictures.com or call me! 212 564 2607 ex: 2339 Thanks and good luck with the fam! Amy

Believe it or not, my daughter, 18 may be evil. She lives with her father. Brags to me about "being slick" and shopliftling. I don't want to leave anything toher if she is evil I need to really know in my heart. Some thngs do not add up. Manipulative, lying, violent (if shecan get away with it) she could have killed an old woman by pushing her down. I prayed for the custody hearing s that I would get her back for two years, on hands and knees. But what my daughter may be afflicted with only to afflict other in the torado of her life, my shrink says, are hard wired in the hippocampus of the brain. I think what kind of a mother would think such a thing about her own flesh. However, there is strong indications her father was a garden variety psychopath. I am so glad I have just let her go! She won't show this sid eof herself to anyone other than me. I am the one God gave mercy to, and I may not have even known it. Be sure your partner is not a psychopath. By the way, I have a Master's Degree and took six psycholgy courses in the field of varous kinds of psychology. I am glad my hear I am now whole and have let her go. Very Very hard. Be careful of your fiancee or husband before jumping into making babies. Just a tip.

Grandmomn01....YOU GO GIRL! I agree with everything you said hon! I will always pray that one day soon my son will see her ( DIL) for who she really is and I know that all the rest of you do the same for your son's. Let's all hang on to that hope for us all. Anybody that would use their own children to hurt their grandmother is a terrible person in my eyes.

Wow, you are deluded. You wish for your son's marriage to fail. By thinking in this way you are sealing the fate of your relationship with your son forever. When our children marry (and mine have) they start their own lives, choose their own partners, and have the right to mold their values any way they want. It is just a reality of life that when this happens, grand parents must accept and respect the choices of their children if they are to have a relationship with them, and the grand kids. I pray that you will figure this out before you spend your entire life alienated from your family.


I thought this topic was about evil DIL'S....the MIL'S posting in here are suffering pain in their lives and in their hearts...I am a MIL who has suffered this pain also. Unless you have actually walked in someone elses shoes you cannot give out advice and if you cannot do anything but make the MIL"S in here feel worse than they already do...please go away. We don't need it or want it. We all feel bad enough and most of us are fighting a losing battle.Life is so short and it breaks my heart that a person can ruin your life with their cruel behavior. It is not any fun to know that we are all older...we never know when our life will end and it needs to be HAPPY while we are here. If my DIL see's me talking to my son she will run and get right between us....she must feel I am talking about her which I was not. She is so Paranoid. It is so sad. My life will never be the same again.<br />
God bless all of you MIL'S.

Sorry for trying to help. I'm not twisting logic, you both stated that you have no close relationship with your sons and his family, all I'm saying is MB it's a response to something you have said or done: sounds like your karma has come back to bite all of you. Like I said before, if you could be honest with yourselves and them, maybe you could salvage a relationship with them. Whether you want to accept it or not, most DILs do not wish for their MILs to be alienated from their husbands or families. If you could stop blaming and attacking your DILs, MB your sons would let you into their lives again. That's all I'm saying.

Mellowone, you are so right. Someday she will be a MIL and Karma is a B@#$@. I'm sure she thinks that she will do everything perfectly right, but we all know better. It's just one of those life experiences that she will have to learn the hard way. I am just grateful that my generation loved their MIL's and did all we could to make sure they loved us. I have had a wonderful relationship with my MIL for 35 years and I love her like my own mother. Many women in today's generation watch too much reality TV or see too many movies and think that their weddings, husbands and children are all about them. The extended family has gone by the wayside for so many families, as well as common decency. What kind of people hold grandchildren hostage because it is inconvenient to see 2 families at the holidays and, of course, her's is most important? Shame on both my son and dil. I just keep on keeping on in life with my husband, work, travel and an appreciation for all the heartache so many MILS go through with their dils. My heart will never be the same, but I will survive. My regards and prayers to you all.

I've just flagged all of those evil comments in this group from evil DILs that obviously have an (excessive compusive) need to put down MILs. They don't have any "I have an evil DIL stories" to share which is what this group is all about. MILs I deeply apologize to you for any further hurt and discomfort and loss of dignity that these obviously evil DILs have caused by spreading their venum in this group. These evil DILs are highly skilled, intelligent and expert at what they do, and they thoroughly enjoy putting MILs in their place, especially by sugar coating their words, smiling in your face while sticking a dagger in your back. which is what they were doing here. Sick!!!! Mmmm..sounds like my very own DIL "dearest." I'd like to share some evil DIL stories please and not be subjected to bashing by DILs who think they know everything. Yes she/DIL will twist logic around to make you think you are wrong , put you down and make you go away because she wants to squash you like a bug (another form of evil DILism!!!!).

Hello Everyone, I've just joined your group which seems to have been attacked by one of those defensive back know it all DILs that thinks she knows everything, thinks that you/we are all "whiners," and that she appears to have an obsessive to need to put all of us MILs in our place. This group is called "I have an evil DIL." If that's the way we feel who is she (and if you look hard enough you'll see all that evil in between her sentences) to try to put us in our place or tell us what to do. It makes you wonder why is she here in this group in the first place except to make herself feel superior when she absolutely does not share our feelings nor can she began to comprehend how we feel. I would hope that we can share our stories for support from each other and not from some know it all DIL obviously who looks down on MILs and feels the need to put them in their place. Please don't get discouraged and continue to share your stories and hopefully evil DILs won't try to spread their evil (subtle evil in this case) within this group. Did you notice how she put EVERYONE down??!! Hmmm...maybe we have one with an obsessive need to control here....Stay strong MILs and I hope to hear more stories from MILs with evil DILs, and not from evil DILs who pretend to want to help but are instead spreading their evil and hurtful venum over into this group. Let's suggest a group for her like DILs that like to MILs down. Please... the last line in her post was meant to be and is a dagger. Don't be fooled MILs.

BTW, ahatedmom, the tone of your comment is very, very condecending. You commented, "If there was never a problem before and now there is, something caused it." I completely agree with what you wrote, except, it may very well be the mother -in-law. Some mother-in-laws have jealousy issues with their DILs and sons. MB if YOU "stayed in your place", to use your own words, you'd have a nicer relationship with your son and his family. Just b/c you are his mother doesn't mean you have a right to treat your DIL as a doormat. Don't forget this is the very person your son has chosen to love and spend his life with.

I'm sorry ahatedmom and MarieLucille, but you both sound like you are in denial about your own words and actions. "Lost their sons and grandchildren because of their sons' wives", why are you blaming your DILs? MB they way you have treated her or them has had a consequence! Nobody withdraws from someone without a reason. ahatedmom, you said you "put her in her place"? What place is that, exactly?....beside your son?! No wonder they completely withdrew from both of you! What I see is MIL(s)acting like they are the only persons in their son's lives that matters to him. What you don't get is when you intentionally hurt your DIL, you hurt your own sons and their families, too. As a DIL who has a MIL who blames me for her son's emotional distance; what I do know is this........she has done it to herself! My husband has made his own decisions concerning his mother and how he wishes to interact with her. My MIL's biggest mistake..accepting and recognizing the concequences of her own horrible words and actions. My husband is worried that since his mother has stooped to intentionally hurt his wife, what will she say or do to hurt his children? Frankly, as a DIL I have encouraged my husand to mend fences, yet until his mother accepts and admits she has wronged and hurt us, it will never happen. You can attack me for what I am saying, that is fine, but do yourself a favor, really read what I have wrote and think about what you have said or done in the past to cause your son to react this way towards you........MB you can salvage your damaged relationships if you are willing to be honest wih yourself, your son and his wife. As a DIL I don't wish for our children to not know their grandmother, but as a family, we won't allow our children to be unnecessarily exposed to hatred and nastiness. We feel that as parents it is our right to protect our children from anyone, including their grandmother, that might inflict physical and/or mental harm. As mothers, is that so hard to understand?

Dear Foulmouth,<br />
I have not seen my son since my mother died 1.5 years ago. I have not seen my first grandchild since he was 6 hours old. There are now 2 more grandchildren in the last 3 years and we have not seen them, also. I so sympathize with you and I have no answers because there are none. I have gone to a therapist to try to live through this and it only helps for a while. My husband and I stopped recognizing our son after he met his wife. He slowly but surely cut us and his entire family out of his life. Our family adored him. He has broken so many hearts and the damage is probably irreparable. My parents are deceased and he didn't call them until the end. My father cried while asking me to have our son call him before he dies. I struggle every day, as he is my only child and this has been devastating.<br />
<br />
All I can say is try to keep on living. I don't know when, if ever, it will get better, but what choice is there? <br />
<br />
God Bless you and all women who have lost their sons and grandchildren because of their sons' wives.

You people, peaceknot4ever and brimi you think you know what you are talking about but you know nothing. Now in some cases you may be right but I can tell you a thing or too. I have a daughter in law that controls my son like a puppet on a string. My son has some issues that she holds over his head and threatens to also take the kids from him. This daughter in law of mine, if you do not give her what she wants or her way she uses the kids to get it. I recently put her in her place and low and behold my grandkids were completly taken away. And yes he took his kids because he is ready to have and be a family, but you do not take grandchildren from their grandparents for selfish reasons. If there was never a problem before and now there is, something caused it. It may very well be the daughter in law. Some daughter in laws have jealousy issues with mothers and their sons. I know this for a fact.

THIS woman? Oh, you mean the person your son loves, is married to and has a child with. If your son isn't talking to you it's b/c he doesn't want to. Your DIL can't make him do anything. MB your son took his kids b/c he's ready to have and be a family, again, with her. What does her having a temper or a foul mouth have to with your story except MB validation to blame her? What did you say or do to cause your son to completely withdraw from you? MB the reason your not seeing your granchildren is b/c they wish for their new blended family to be ........a family. How is that punishment?

I have one too. Something changed my sweet girl that I knew when she was a teen. She has been back now for about 3 years. We were getting along great, then poof. I thought she hated me. We don't go anywhere like to the store anymore. But I think weare working on being friends again. I hope so. yes, there are 3 kids whom I love dearly.

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