Mil Has Borderline Personality Disorder

I am lucky that my MIL lives 2,000 miles away from us and I have very little contact with her.
So, I have no right to complain as much as some of you who live in the same town or even live WITH your MIL. I call her my monster-in-law.

First, full disclosure...

I have been told that she is BPD/NPD (borderline personality disorder/narcissistic personality disorder) and I totally believe it. I also think she is Manic.

After her husband died a few years ago, after the funeral she was crying and crossing herself (sign of the cross) and seemed overwhelmed by grief. I took her hand and asked her if her church might help her get through her grief. She said that they couldn't help her because -and I quote- 'they can't do anything for me! None of them are as educated as me, none of them have travelled as much as me and all the women are jealous of me now because I am a single woman'

OK, how do you respond to this?

It is ALWAYS about her. Its all about how wonderful she is or what a victim she is EVEN on the day of her husbands funeral!

When she visits us, she follows me around the house telling me everything I am doing wrong. Here are a few examples:

1. I don't boil eggs properly.
2. I do not fold laundry properly.
3. I am extravagant to have a cell phone.
4. I should not use a microwave oven. ( I use it to make popcorn and boil water...thats it...)
I could go on.... I am a bad mother, a bad cook, not good enough, etc., etc...

My husband can 'make nice' with her for about two days and then she pushes him too far and he explodes. I could tolerate her better if she had a mute button. You need body armor to be around this woman. She is just malicious and she doesn't seem to care about who she hurts.

When I talk about it, it she actually sounds sort of funny. But actually being with her is NEVER funny.
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 9, 2013

Yes that personality type is prevalant in that generation. She won't change and it is awesome that she does live that far away. I can relate my mother, MIL & Aunt are exactly the same. It's because of that generation.. Ugh...

She will only get worse. Cut her out of your life. My story is posted too if you need to relate.