Well mine thinks he is gay... In a way it would explain a LOT if he is. After 25 years of marriage I was told twice by my ex he didn't love me anymore. On the night he asked me for the divorce I found naked photo's of men on his computer. He confessed that he thought he might be gay. After the initial shock I have felt like it was a light shown on our history of problems. If he went to marriage counseling he always found a reason to bail before we went deep. He made me feel (and still does) in adequate in relationships. I felt in order to get him to praise me or compliment me I had to prove myself (I don't know if this wasn't a family issue with his family). I would say to my counselors because I thought it was me, that I didn't feel loved or respected. Countless times he threw me and my career under the bus. He screwed up our finances and I didn't stand my ground until five years ago with separate accounts. And intimacy was NEVER intimate. I never felt loved. However, though it explains a lot and I'm hurt, I am hurt more from the maltreatment. I may see the reason but it does NOT heal the hurt.
btapwood btapwood
51-55, F
Jul 21, 2015