Jealousy Is a Terrible Disease
About a little less than a year ago I met my current boyfriend. When I first met him and started talking to him I thought he seemed like a really sweet guy; he was from the very start pretty jealous, but I always thought it was something cute, I thought well at least he cares. I never knew that the jealousy would start to bring me down and get under my skin so much that it was making everyday miserable and completely draining. We fought all the time in the beginning because he didn't really know me and didn't trust me, so he constantly thought I was out with other guys behind his back. As we started to go a little longer the fights kind of subsided along with his jealously from what I thought, but everytime I would even bring up another guy he still flips out of his mind, especially if I'm talking to them just as friends. It is so frusterating and I started out of nowhere having these panic attacks, from which myself and my therapist believe to be associated with all the emotional duress I'm under especially with him. If he thinks I am talking to another guy in a flirty way he threatens to come over my house and damage my property. He threatens to kill and hurt people, and he has even destroyed most of my cell phones out of jealousy. He told me if I ever tried to leave him he would kill me; I didn't really ever take it serious, but after the phone calls he leaves my conservative and classy family telling them he is going to murder any guy he sees me with has caused me to feel very threatened and uneasy around him. He is constantly getting mad at me and is super sensitive. I feel like I'm babysitting a little baby, he is so needy and so insecure that it is really getting on my nerves. I use to be so positive before I met him and I feel like he is purposely trying to bring me down. He's taking all of my energy, but I am trying to get back on a positive track but it's difficult when you have a negative person around. I definitley believe the saying surround yourself with positive people and you'll become positive, surround yourself with negative people and you'll become negative; it has happened to me and is just all together is so exhausting. He wants me to be with him forever but I could never put up with this the rest of my life. Life is way too short to live with someone like that. I truely never thought I'd hate for my boyfriend to be so jealous; but I fcuking hate it!!!