I Am Very Scared,what Should I Do ??please Help Me

Hello everyone,

 

My name is vik and i am 24 years old.I have always had an HIV phoebia since i turned 18.I have had unprotected sex with my girlfriends only ,have never been to any prostitutes,never had any needles injected.I got so mad at one point that i started asking embarrasing questions to the girls i was dating who obviously got very offended with me asking about hiv all the time.I finally managed to muster enough courage to go and get tested for hiv last year and "God i was so relieved to see that it was negative",even though my family and doctors told me that i need not go for the test,i just got it done for my piece of mind and after i got it,things were fine.



I have started having this hiv phobia again as i recently started dating a girl,with whom i have had unprotected vaginal sex twice,i have been careful to use a condom ever after that,but the phobia is regarding that.I confronted her and asked her how many men has she had sex with and she told me that she had it unprotected with one guy before me and that was her boyfriend for 3 years who has now moved on and is doing well in his life and is healthy.However,she seemed pretty ignorant about hiv and stuff,i have told her to have an hiv test to which she has agreed,but i dont know what to do? she belongs to a decent family,am i being too harsh on her and pesturing her even though she is my girlfriend and we intend on getting married soon.

I have been just trying to take out symptoms all the time,just seems like deja vu again to me when i had  this phobia the last time which only ended when i had an hiv test done.I am a smoker and my throat has been messed up for more than 20 days now.I was taking medication for the same but i did not stop smoking at all during the medication.Also now i am feeling that my right cheek is bigger than my left and is a little swollen,i also feel that i have swollen lymph nodes in my neck which everyone has been telling me does not exist,but i cant seem to get that out of my head,i have been trying to see myself in the mirror all the time and i see that my glands are not swollen but at the same time i am still feeling that my right side of my face is heavier than the left. I Dont know what to do,i dont want to get a test again,am i worrying too much,i have also put on a lot of weight and now i am feeling a little loss of appetite also,is it because i am stressing too much,i need to get a life cause my mind is not working and all i can sit dream and think about is HIV.

 

Please help me and advice me with whatever you all can,i need all of it

 

A worried soul !!

vikster24 vikster24
22-25, M
1 Response Mar 8, 2010

Its all in your head. I have a phobia myself even when I tested negitive. It is very embarrassing but im glad im not alone. Get re tested or get therapy and move on. Im going through this right now. If you did it once do it again!