I Hope the Ep Gods Are Listening

I have noticed especially lately that there seems to be a whole lot of comments being posted with the only purpose being to cause hurt. I don't like seeing it at all. When it happens to my friends it becomes personal for me. I've been thinking about it for some time now. How do we get rid of people that just keep making new profiles?.....and then it hit me. Every single profile that I've seen from someone that is only trying to cause grief contains no information other than a user name. I suggest that the EP gods change the registration form so that every single field needs to be fully filled in and with real words not gibberish. I also suggest that there be a 24 hour delay where the new user can read but not post. Those two things at least would make it a pain for a troublemaker to make a new profile foe the sole purpose of harassing someone. They would no longer be able to create a profile in two minutes in order to swear at someone.

Think about it please. I believe it could help.

BASS

bassplayer bassplayer
46-50, M
70 Responses Mar 6, 2009

Um...not sure what you mean. I've been here. At least I think I'm here - lol

It's been over a year...What happened to you?

EP unfortunately now seems to be fixated on expanding their numbers at the cost of all else. I can only assume the goal is to eventually sell this site for a pile of money. It's sad. Even in the last six months I've seen this site lose some of it's charm. I stick to my guns. Anyone that does not fully fill out a profile should not be allowed to post.

If EP is smart about it, they will listen... otherwise the whole community suffers, and the good folks will drift off, leaving this site to the misfits and crazies who don't contribute much the the site but their insensitivity.

What's worse than that HBY is that these type of people are drawn to the easy targets and people in pain. They go off on a rant, go about their merry way and never even stop to consider the emotional damage they have caused. That is why it is so important to try to do something that limits that damage rather than cleans up the aftermath.

It's a shame we have to sit here and think of ways to try and difuse these types of people. The real shame is that they exist in the first place. Mean people Suck.

I guess it can't fix everything. The truth usually is though that a fight escalates very quickly and the hate snowballs. Having a built in cooling off period would help. I know when I am irate at work if I write an email I don't send it right away because in the past I've regretted it. I've found that almost every time when I re-read what I've written I end up toning it down. This isn't a cure all by any means and there will always be exceptions but I believe it can only help.

They already do that. The extreme pests go to a public library or use someone elses computer.

The technolegy is in place to block a person from going on to a site once they are banned. All that EP needs to do if someone is making a pest of themself is to block the I.P. address from entering the site

I guess there's two ways to look at any problem. Try to fix the damage or try to prevent it from happening in the first place. Blocking/reporting and all that other stuff is putting a band-aid on an existing problem. It works but the pain is already there. What I propose can only help and if the only issue is the inconvenience of waiting for a day or so it is well worth it if it will safe anyone here from verbal assaults that let's face it can be just brutal in nature.

Its anonomous. Unless the offender is really out there how would they ever link profiles? The only way once again is by IP addresses and once again it would turn the staff here into patrolmen. And as I've already said, someone who decides to make a profile at a library can easily get around any IP address blocking.

It has merit but then it creates yet another administrative problem for the EP staff. They already spend a lot of time policing this site. Repeat offenders already do get their IP addresses blocked. What I think is the strong point of my proposed solution is it involves no administration.

I know of at least one trouble maker here that actually logs in from libraries to use different IP addresses because they have been black listed.<br />
Instituting a time delay does not compromise your anonimity.

lol<br />
Thanks Rhiannon and Magic :)

Bass for president!

funny ha ha. : )

He's funny that way.

Oh brother...

Are you in my pants again?

Did someone call me?<br />
I thought I heard someone call trouble....

Yes that is so true. I also tend to avoid people with a ton of sexual stuff in their profile too.

Absolutely CMR. Who hasn't hit send on an email only to later regret it? Having to wait a day once you've been blocked might do wonders to lowering the explosive anger level around here. Thanks for commenting.<br />
BASS

Sounds like a reasonable idea to me. It would also give people a day to cool off before they go blasting their hatred around the place. It is sad that EP has become a place where people don't feel safe.

Thank you<br />
Sure....it seems like a pain at times having to fill out a ton of information but that is exactly what makes it perfect for deterring someone who is creating rapid fire profiles to attack someone else.

Me too... This post is a great idea Bass. I haven't been on much in the past couple months due to my "real" life, but I can remember times in the past since I've joined that I just didn't really want to log in because of the drama that was happening... We have to figure out some way to police the troublemakers, and I like the idea of requiring them to actually fill out all of the fields at registration. I have seen several sites that make you do that.

I'm with you 100%

I was threatened with those exact words for voicing my opinion on this subject. I didn't name names, but just agreed with the person who owned and started the blog... I have previously blocked and avoid the person who attacked me, but you see, anyone can do this in someone elses stories. There is no stopping it truly... <BR><BR>I have no personal gripe with this or anyone on this site. People who purpetuate these negative attacks only make themselves look bad. <BR><BR>I REFUSE TO ENGAGE IN PERSONAL ATTACKS... Anyone else stand with me????

Thanks drew :)<br />
Home come you time here is limited?

Keep up the good fight basspla<x>yer. I'd say more, but apparently my 'time is limited here' and I am afraid to comment further.

Posting confessions I can see. That way if someone is reaching out for help they can still get it. As far as writing blogs and stories and making comments I believe the waiting period is a good thing.<br />
Thanks for your thoughts.<br />
BASS

This was a great post. I wanted to suggest that although a good idea to have a waiting period seems right, I remember the first thing wrote here was a confession. Maybe yes, we should have the watiing period to write stories and comment, lets say more than 2 times after you join. They can always let you comment to stories and post confessions as long as it is not anon. And then, if you feel you really like the website, then you must fill out the profile with a minimum of required info in order to continue to post, create stories, join groups.<BR>And yes, I have blocked ppl already that I feel toxic so I dont have to deal with them. That is the easiest way to avoid drama!

Thanks 35. As well as the love of my life I have made some truly wonderful strong friendships here. It's one of the best things about this place :)

That is a great thought, Bass! You are quite observant! :-)<br />
<br />
We must remember that this is an online public community, just like in the real world, we will have issues with troublemakers, some disagreements and many incredible friendships. What we can work on is the great friendships.<br />
<br />
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.<br />
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thanks...me too :)

heh....well ALL my deranged comments showed up at once. *blush*<br />
Who the hell is the person in question who some love and some hate?

This is the THIRD time I have tried to comment,the others went poof.<br />
hm<br />
Concerning trolls and haters.<br />
DELETE their comments.<br />
Thats the beauty of this site!<br />
I have not seen these trolls and haters {possibly because I have my head up my own ***} but I know they are here because Treefrogz told me so.<br />
~~~~~~~<br />
ATTENTION TROLLS AND HATERS!<br />
STFU!

It does exist. Unfortunately :(

Dear EP peeps.<br />
I have not observed this trollish behavior on this site, possibly because I have my head up my own ***.<br />
However it does exist because Treefrogz told me so.<br />
There is no accounting for trolls and haters.<br />
I say ignore them.<br />
DELETE their comments.<br />
Thats the beauty of this site. We can delete our stories or the comments of trolls and haters.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
ATTENTION TROLLS AND HATERS!<br />
STFU!

Dear EP peeps.<br />
I have not seen this trollish behavior on this site, possibly because I have my head up my own ***.<br />
I know it exists because Treefrogz told me so.

I think that one of the toughest situations to handle is when an individual is both loved and hated. I tend to try to stay away from all the controversy because for sure in this way ignorance is bliss. I truly have had nothing but positive interaction with the both of you.

Interesting comment Duchess. I do believe that some people are oil and water together and as such will forever be separated. No matter how much we encourage, some people are better off in separate corners. There really is no problem with that if we can always remain respectful. As a collective we need to try harder to do that. We need to resist the urge to name call. There's is nothing stopping us from clicking away if we really detest what we are reading.

Thanks for your comments Jojo. The problem is a few bad apples really do spoil the bunch. When you've been here longer and read more you will see just out of hand it can get. There are days here when the EP staff spend their day just taking down hateful stories and fake profiles.<br />
I hear what you are saying about people in crisis but there are many options for someone in that state of mind. This is not a crisis prevention web site and no one here is a professional trained to handle that sort of situation anyway. My ex wife worked on a suicide hotline. People that are truly on the verge need to be handled by someone with the proper training.

This is a great idea. I haven't been here all that long but I have read some of the horror stories. My only problem with the waiting period is sometimes I've read posts from people who come here in crisis and are reaching out for help. I don't think a waiting period is good for this reason. If one of us can help just one person in crisis, it would have been worth our time to deal with a few "bad apples."<br />
Thanks for taking my thoughts into consideration.

Now, I am out of here, I am being bossy, I know it. I'm sorry.

Its the snow ball and return after return that has left a path of destruction that's hard to avoid, Marji. Whatever started it, it has to stop. Please. Like now. Whacko has hurt you. Its a Yucky awful horrible feeling. He maybe went too far. It doesn't matter! Recognize the feeling then immmediately Stop, Block and Roll far away from him. No lashing back. Its not thrilling, its not fun, but it works

I can appreciate that. It's just a shame that things ever get to that point in the first place. Someone makes a conscious choice to lash out and then it all starts. If there was respect........maybe I hope for too much.<br />
<br />
The main focus of my story though is the people that just keep making profile after profile so they can carry on hurting. That is what I think could be stopped or slowed down with what I am proposing.<br />
Thanks for your thoughts LilAnnie

I see that. Yes.<br />
<br />
But, and here I am treading on very fragile ground, I think I am not wrong if I say that most of the bad drama around here revolves around females. Females lash out when they feel hurt. I don't think we care about shouting someone down into submission, we just want our attackers to hurt like we do. So, for us ladies, the main problem around here, from where I stand, the best game plan is, the very second we feel that "you hurt me!" feeling, is ........Stop! Block! and Roll!

You are right Lil, fights are not good things. Disagreements are fine. There needs to be respect. You should be able to disagree with someone on one post and agree with them on another without things ever spiraling out of control. The problems always start when someone answers something they don't like with a **** you sort of comment. It never goes well from that point and I really hate reading those type of exchanges. If you have an intelligent viewpoint by all means let's here it but trying to shout down someone else into submission is the part I could do without.

Maybe we can all recognize that fact that our friends are always going to come and help us out in a fight. Fights are not good things. WE should not want our friends to have to fight for us. So, to protect our friends, we refuse to engage with someone who has hurt us. We feel hurt, we stop, we block and we roll. Like Lilt says. All in the name of keeping the peace. That what I hope happens more often anyway.

Thank you so much Whacko. I really appreciate it :)

Whack, I like your writing and have had many laughs and enjoyed your insight.<br />
I don't necessarily believe that someone who gets their feelings hurt here are whiny babies though. The easiest thing in the world for someone with a thick skin to say is "get a thicker skin". It just isn't possible. Someone who is driven by emotion truly cares about their friends here and it can upset them deeply when they see hateful comments. There are people that hurt for days after receiving hate comments. I fully agree with what you say about the mob mentality rushing in because two wrongs of course don't make a right but this is not a huge plan to implement. It is a very simple one and I believe it would be effective in stopping at least the rolling profiles. Sure you can just use the block button but who wants to? You should be able to put your thoughts out here whether you agree or disagree without being harassed. Lastly, the worst of the worst do not go away. Every time they get blocked they find a way to come back and start all over again. Just like a school yard bully. Ignoring him doesn't make him go away. Not everyone has the defense mechanisms in place to deal with that.

Thanks Drew. I hate seeing my friends get trashed. If it can be stopped or at least curbed I'm all for trying.

Great post and well thought out idea basspla<x>yer.. Just the fact that you posted this story shows how much you care about the site. I can't stand all the negativity and hatefulness... it's hard not to get sucked up into the drama when you feel or see an injustice. i'm all for anything that will curb the 'rapid fire' profile attacking... <BR>Thanks for caring dude, you're the kind of member that makes this site worth it all.<BR>xxxx

The problem is the really persistent ones. You block them and two minutes later they have a new profile and are right back at it again. I had two friends who were being harassed yesterday. No one here should ever have to put up with that. There are also many here (like myself) who are very sensitive and have a difficult time just dismissing the hateful comments. I'm hanging tough but I do have some very bad days here due to the hatemongers and I believe it doesn't have to be like this.

I agree with you totally nice guy. I don't really think anyone would be put off by having to wait and it would eliminate anyone trying to make rage driven rapid fire profiles.

Thanks June,<br />
Despite the obvious negativity that is at times in plain view on many of the posts, there really are very many wonderful people here. It takes a bit of persistence. Unfortunately many people come here for healing because that is one of the things a forum like this does best. They are the ones in the greatest danger of being driven off. I have lost several friends because of this. I do not wish to lose any more. Hang in for the good stuff if you can<br />
BASS

It'll work.<br />
<br />
I disagree with people who suggest that it would "drive people away" or that we would be "giving up our freedom."<br />
<br />
C'mon, waiting 24hrs to post would drive people away?<br />
<br />
If THAT alone makes you leave a site in rage and disgust...then it was probably for the best, isn't it?<br />
<br />
I doubt if 1 out of 10,000 would seriously abandon a site just for that small, common sense rule.

Great post, BP.<br />
<br />
I came here to share my experiences and hope to connect to people who have the same experiences and also talk to people who are different from me and learn from them.<br />
<br />
And yet, the longer I stay, the more it is about disagreeing with others, attacking others and worse, influencing other people to join in the attacking.

Thank you Mizz

GREAT idea - thanks for putting this out there.

As long as the internet is full of anonymity, there will always be trolls ******* it up.<br />
<br />
I like the idea, bass. Maybe try posting it in the "I Want To Improve The Experience Project" group.

Thanks Snow and SS<br />
<br />
I agree. I'm totally sick of it.

Great post Bass! It might work to at least deter them a bit.<br />
I've seen it too many times lately. The hurt and malice towards another member is disheartening at best. Life is too short I am sure most people dont come here for the desire to harrass people and just be cruel but lately seems like all you see is drama! Thats certainly not why I am here.

What freedoms would my suggestions and Selas be giving up?

Thanks uc<br />
<br />
Agreed Sela....also a good idea

Unfortunately Underconstruction ignoring them does not deter them. They are a form of predator and and a predator never quits. I don't believe the waiting period would deter anyone to be truthful. If all you have to do is sign up and come back tomorrow, what's the big deal?<br />
<br />
Thanks Constant Change....i have had to wait on a few things I've signed up for. I never thought it to be that big an inconvenience

Thanks princess

IDK MY. They never seem to fill out anything. Right now you could make a profile every two minutes. At least it would stop that.

I agree these fakes who come in with the intention to hurt should be stopped. Unfortunately, if they have a vendetta and an axe to grind, they'll just do what's necessary, wait it out and still do it. It's a sad thing to have to be vigilant and wary about every new person posting here. We were all new here at one time looking for friends and acceptance, and as a newby I would hate to be mistrusted or questioned as a result of a few rotten eggs who came in and stunk up the place. *sigh*

I guess potentially you might lose a few people with the time delay thing but if you could still read stories while you're waiting for your activation.....I would have waited.