There's Always Someone Better

That's been a credo I live by ever since I could learn to remember. When I was growing up, my parents always compared me to my other friends and cousins. I come from a huge family on both sides, with a legacy of success. My dad put so much into me, thinking I could be the next great member of the family, and I had a lot of expectations. However, this would lead to competition with people I found otherwise great to be around. However, while my parents didn't directly say it, I definitely got the idea that they wanted me to be more like THEM, perhaps better. I never found myself because I was either trying to be the carbon copy of my dad or the clone of my older cousins.

I was smart, still like to think I am. Never was athletic or gained weight. My mom always compared me to my other cousins or friends who looked better and made me eat more. I wanted to think I was mature for my age, but my parents always said that another person was far more mature and a better child for doing another thing. My success was never appreciated when I was younger; my accomplishments were always overshadowed by someone else's superior one. I believe this is where I developed this belief that there's always someone better. But could it be argued? I was never listened to as a child. My cries for help were seen as weakness by my superiors. I just had to toughen up and catch up with the rest of the pack. Rather than conform I began to question myself and the world and why things were the way they were. I became isolated from normality, and my mindset became the mindset I would live with.

Eighteen years pass and my views on life and the world are distorted more than I want to think. I could never ask for help from anyone because I thought that no one wanted to listen, as no one ever has. I would believe that people have far better things to do with their life than talk to someone who is clearly inferior. So in my own little world I called the shots and let my logic be the rational sense. And who could question it? Those that did were met with some harsh realities I would utter, all stemming from a past of scorn. In my mind, though, I was simply being realistic. I am no hero or self-important diety. I'm just someone who isn't that attractive, not as creative, funny, charismatic, athletic, popular, rich, intelligent, or just plain better than the next guy. I always felt distant from my peers, seeing myself as worse off than they are.

What's the point in trying for things when you simply know that it will be inferior to the results of someone else? There's always someone better.

WhereisPeppyHare WhereisPeppyHare
18-21, M
3 Responses Feb 23, 2010

Dude, my life was kind of the same as well. My parents never showed any interest in what I do, or any pride in my accomplishments. Instead, it's always, "Why didn't you do better?" They're douche-bags, and I think they are more concerned about their own status than my (our?) well-being. I've literally moved to another country to get away from all that junk, but I can still hear their voices criticising what I do. I guess what I'm saying is that, there's someone else who's experiencing it.

My friend,<br />
<br />
One thing I do notice is this...YOu have an amazing writing skill, a talent for writing. YOur words are flawless, spelled correctly, and we get a clear and direct picture of how you feel, which is rare to convey.....This is a talent, nurture it....I wish I was as good as writing and expressing myself as you...

I can tell you're far superior to me.