I Have An Iphone
I love my iPhone. She does almost everything I need. She makes phone calls. She takes pictures. She takes videos. She records audio. She gets online to any Web site, including EP. She plays YouTube videos. She checks my bank balance. She tells me the weather. She tells me the time. She wakes me up in the morning. She texts. She sends e-mails. She plays voicemails. She sets appointments and reminds me about them. She checks stock values. She calculates. She plays music. She downloads music, videos, and apps. She shows me where I am. She tells me which direction I'm going. She remembers my friends' contact information. She helps with working out. She synchronizes with my computer, Rosabelle and can even control her. She keeps track of my classes, grades, and professors. She helps me read the Bible. She instant messages. She can transfer data to other smart phones. She plays Sudoku, Minesweeper, BrickBreaker, poker, Labyrinth, and Words with Friends. She pops bubble wrap. She picks my music depending on my mood. She gives me pitch references. She listens to music and tells me what it is. She tunes guitars. She autotunes my voice. She hacks my brain. She helps make me happier. She tells me about new and upcoming movies. She tells me about drink specials. She keeps track of my Starbucks drinks. She logs my travel. She gives me flight deals. She changes backgrounds. She tells me how to talk to a real person instead of an automated system. She keeps track of my Amazon cart. She Googles. She transfers money. She fights with a lightsaber. She ignites with a lighter. She guides me in the dark with a flashlight. Must I go on?
My iPhone is named Nevara for a very special reason. Nevara is a Spanish name meaning "snow." About three months ago, we got a huge snow here, so we went sledding. As I walked back home, I realized that Nevara was not on my belt holster anymore. My parents and I went back down to the sledding hill to look for her. She happened to be muted, so we couldn't call and try to get a ring. We found nothing. My mom put up signs down there, asking for people to look for it and call our land line if they found her. A day went by. An inch of snow melted. Nothing. Another day went by. Still nothing. That night, after it was dark, we got a call. It had been two days. A cute young woman had found Nevara. The Hallelujah Chorus was playing in my head. She handed her to me, and she was COMPLETELY FUNCTIONAL. Not a scratch on her. Not a single malfunction. We thanked her with a monetary reward.
You're probably wondering how she survived under that snow. Well, she has an Otterbox Defender Case around her. It's really good at insulating her and protecting her from drops. I've dropped her on pavement several times, and she's fine. So I guess I owe it to my Otterbox.
Anyway, that's the story of my iPhone. Wootness.
