Half-open Marriage

My wife and I just took the plunge into an official open marriage about a month ago. I'm 40 and she's 39. We've been married 11 years, together for 13. She's always been sexually adventurous. Me, not so much. A couple of years ago, she started an affair with a co-worker. She told me about it and I didn't leave her but I wasn't into it and our marriage was awful. He died a year ago but our marriage didn't get better. We didn't communicate or have sex. We basically stayed together for our two young children.

Anyway, maybe it's because I turned 40 but I now don't have a problem with her seeing somebody outside our marriage. It's something she needs and since she's my best friend, I'm jumping in with both feet. She's been seeing a guy for about a month now -- he's married and his wife knows none of this. She's been so much happier and in turn our marriage has improved by light years. She tells me all about her sexual encounters and we've been having a lot more sex as a result, too. And because we tell each other EVERYTHING now, the communication in our marriage has never been better.

I'm not jealous of her being with another guy. I am jealous of the excitement she is getting with being with somebody new. I'd love to feel that once in a while and she says it's OK as long as she knows. God knows how I'd find somebody though. I've tried chat rooms and it seems like it's all "bots" in there trying to hawk webcams.

That's where we are now. I don't have any questions. I guess I just needed to get this off my chest.
curiousctguy curiousctguy
36-40, M
1 Response May 7, 2012

Hi,<br />
I'm in a similar situation. We've decided to have an open marriage. Not that either of us have anything or anyone in mind. I know how you feel about your chances of meeting anyone. I live in a rural area outside a small village and I work at home. I'll never meet anyone like this. The "adult" dating/friends sites all seem to be scams so there's no chance meeting anyone there. So what I'm doing is taking up some new activities to get me out of the house. One is roller skating, there are a some hot roller derby chicks that I wouldn't mind getting to know (like that would ever happen, but you've got to dream) and I've taken up playing darts again. Darts is a good excuse to get out of the house and visit the pub. If you are lucky you can get your wife to drop you off while she runs some errands and then pick you up a few hours later, then you don't have to worry about drinking and driving. If you live in the city with Public Transport then you've got it made. Some nice women hang out at some pubs, especially if they are near a University or Hospital or an area frequented by business travelers. Bowling might be another idea. If you're like me and not in to "clubbing" then the neighborhood pubs offer a good alternative IMHO. I'm glad you two are having more sex now. That makes it a lot easier for me, I need the contact and the release. I'm not jealous either as long as she is happy.<br />
Just some thoughts. Thanks for sharing. Best of luck!