Being Cursed....

My wife and I have had many arguements lately. One of my arguments is that we have a sexless marrige. She says the reason we don't have sex is. It hurts to much, I agree I have not been able to have normal relations because of this problem. But we have been married for some time and this problem is just coming up? Is it possible for a women to continuely fake painful sex with her husband for 10 years? Our marrige has several other things wrong with it, But I have to believe most of it has derived from this problem. We are now on the verge of divorce.

I have gone to my doctor with much dismay I will never be able to rectify the problem. I don't know if others have experienced a problem like this I guess it's why I am putting this out there. Just looking for some insight.

Jamcojay Jamcojay
31-35, M
15 Responses Jun 18, 2007

Jay, i know what you're going through but its not your size thats the problem. Thats the excuse she's using to deny you what you are rightly entitled to as a husband. both spouses deserve to enjoy sex with the other and shutting the door completely on sex is just wrong. there is more going on than the size of your big ****. i dont have the size you have but my wife shut me off completely after the birth of our 2nd child. <br />
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i complained that we'd had no sex for ages (18 months) and she proceeded to tell me that there was no longer any need for sex now that we'd had our children and that i needed to stop listening to all these TV shows that suggest married couples have sex in their 30s and 40s and 50s on a weekly basis. it hurt me deeply and its now been almost 11 yrs since i last had sex with my wife. were it not for my daughter who is now 10, the wife would be out on her *** for the way she's shut the door on it. <br />
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i did all the romance stuff and the dinner, the movies, offered personal vacations, flowers at work etc. and it didnt mean anything. i am good in bed. she's erupted many times with earth shattering ******* so its not like i've been uncaring or not worried about her sexual desires. Its her and unless its dealt with, it will destroy you both.

I totaly agree with you because I have been in the same situation and not with only one woman but with several of the female friends that I have had during my life. <br />
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In fact, it has been a problem to find female partners that enjoy my size. I would say that onle a 20% or so of the females that I have been with were OK with fully acepting me insde them vaginally. Anally...well, that's a different issue.<br />
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SOLUTION: I became and expert in oral administration. Since they could not get pleasure with my penis but pain, I did adminitered the pleasure with my tongue.

Not everybody see your big problem as a problem. I guess some of us women just like them BIG!

Hey Jamco, I feel your pain buddy. When I was in college I met the girl of my dreams, the first time we attempted intercourse she freaked out. We did everything that we could think of to get her more prepared to penetration. Bottomline, it never worked. After graduating from law school I met my current wife, she too had difficulty, but after the birth of our first son it got easier. Now 3 sons later she is very comfortable in taking all of me. In fact, she is really into my size and the pleasure I bring her. So I would say that if their are other problems in the marriage that perhaps you might find another girl happier with what you have to give her. If there is no physical problem for your wife, then maybe it is her excuse to leave. Good luck dude. Hit me up if you want to chat further. Nick

It shouldn't matter the size if you two are in love. She shouldn't avoid you like that. Sex is part of a healthy relationship.

oh your not cursed...its just alot of women can't handle all that....oh i wish i could find a guy like you.i think thats amazing.

well just to "shoot" my opinion in the mix....i personally find that if you're truly into the guy then size doesn't matter. our um errr female organ can accommodate a child, therefore..... anyway personally i find gerth to be far more effective. oh and just one more thing, it's not the size of the wand, it's the magic in it....;)

Check out talk sex with Sue Johanson, she has a show on every Sunday night, I believe 10 pm, she takes calles, she's very helpful with so many problems such as this, it's worth a try. Good Luck

I was in love with someone once who was oversized. In fact, when he sat down in shorts, it was a problem with anyone facing him. Furthermore, I don't think briefs would work for him. Full penetration just was not physically feasible. We did not discuss this, but it went in as far as it went in and that's it. Maybe it would have been painful if I had not been so deeply in love with him. If you wife feels uncomfortable with penetration, she should orally compensate. At least, this is what I would do were I in her situation. It just seems that is the right thing to do when you are married. That said, you know a bit about my marital woes.

I have to say I agree with lostcancerian completely. It sounds to me like that is not really the problem in your relationship,good luck with everything I hope you guys can work it out.

oh come on now ladies... yeah, it hurts sometimes when a guy is too big, but you gotta learn how to control your body to alter the penetration depth. it's a two person thing really. i have had several guys from my past that have been more than adequately endowed, but i learned how to enjoy things by doing my equal part. trust me jamco, you may be LTA, but that doesn't mean everything is your fault. have you varied positions so that she might be more "accessible"? there are certain ways you can have sex that would alieviate the majority of the discomfort. if not, i know a lot of women that would dare not complain... ;)

Sorry to hear that it's the cause of such strife in your relationship. It also sounds like you've done a lot of hard work in trying to come to a solution. Have you tried finding a sex therapist? That said, it sounds like you would need to get the *other* problems with your marriage fixed *before* you would have much luck fixing the sex side of things. Anyway, just my thoughts. I'm hardly experienced in the matter :P

Most guys think that women like and want a man with a big penis but I disagree. It really hurts when It's too big. My boyfriend has the same problem.

Her sister is an OB, It has been brought up that there may be a problem. After alot of testing she has been found to be healthy. I believe in foreplay, I am a romantic or like to believe I am

Your wife may need a pap as well. It might not just be your size hurting her. If she has an infection, irritation, or HPV you might just be aggrivating an existing problem. Also... just a humble reminder... there's this thing called FOREPLAY that helps a woman relax or get in the mood in all the right places! lol.