I'm completely lost.

I've been playing the Irish sport of hurling since I was four years old and fell in love with it. I even played for my county. Over the years I've had multiple broken bones but nothing could hold me back from playing. That was, until, I had a severe impact to the chest and have been unable to breathe properly ever since.

It started off with a funny feeling when I tried to breathe in during excercise and slowly, but surely, came to where I am now, which is struggling to eat some days because I lose my breath while chewing.

At first doctors said it was a fractured rib, then that the cartilage between my ribs was swollen, then that I simply had asthma. Over the last two years I've been treated for asthma and even had counselling on 'accepting my asthma' but my health has declined steadily and medication doesn't seem to be any help. In fact, on one medication I got dizzy spells and even heart palpitations.

It got to the point that a few of my 'friends' began saying that it was all in my head, or that I use my illness as an excuse to get out of things. Nobody understood. I struggled to walk up the stairs every day.

After two years it's suddenly dawned on my doctor that I don't have asthma and now I have tests lined up left, right and center. I'm only 16 and i'm absolutely terrified.

I'm trying to be positive and keep my hopes up that they'll find what's wrong with me, but I have a huge fear in the back of my mind that i'm dying. I get weaker and weaker every day. I'm in pain everyday and have to limit myself in everything I do to avoid causing even more pain. Although I get loads of support from teachers in school, my peers are less understanding and I feel alone. I struggle to be happy every day. It's rare I can concentrate in class or even participate. I try not to talk to my family about it because I can see how upset they already are watching me suffer.

I'm really struggling to stay positive and it doesn't seem like it's going to get any easier any time soon. It's times like these I don't need someone to tell me it's going to be okay, I just need some understanding
aliken98 aliken98
18-21, F
3 Responses Aug 21, 2014

In a way I understand what you're going through.

I have Epilepsy due to a brain herphormage when I was 11, and had to do a major amount of tests and such as well. I also contracted Tietze Syndrome, which causes ribcage swelling and inflammation, especially during humid/cold/foggy weather, suddenly, which made my college kick me out.

I know how it is to walk in pain everyday, to live with breathing obstruction, to have a lack of mobility. It can be extremely tough and painful no doubt. However, over the years I have never given up, I have kept fighting and became who I am today, in control of my epilepsy (for the most part) and having accepted my Epilepsy and Tietze as part of who I am.

I can't say you'll be okay, I can't say I fully understand, but I can say to never give up the battle! As long as you don't give up, you have a high chance of winning! >:D

I had an illness although diagnosed it was hard for me to cope with, I lost many things that made my life whole, I am good now but what I am trying to say is that you have really no choice as to approach this head on, take a breather and attend your test positive, be positive that a diagnosis is made it is your fear of the unknown that is the killer at the moment, take control of it before it takes control of you,,, good luck chic

Your advice is taken on board and appreciated. You obviously speak from experience

I see :L