My Mother Has Always Has Had Bipolar The Never Ending Saga..

As far back as I can remember my mother has always been bipolar. Due to this most of my childhood is a painful miry of Foster homes and courts... I've never known her as anything but. Thankfully at age 13 I was sent to live with relatives which beck a difficult tug of war til I was almost 16. Each time she sent me back to my aunt and uncle for various reasons: she worked to much to care for me, her.boyfriend at the time didn't want me around, ect. This destroyed me emotionally. I wrote her off at age 17 b/c she said she wouldn't come to my graduation b/c her boyrriend wouldn't let her. For years my mother beat me, threatened to kill me (tried once) , was never home, and neglected me to the point my teachers at school turned her in (thankfully). She has no recollection of these events... I do. She showed up unannounced to mive in with me at age 23 which resulted in a very long chain of events. She had been years off her meds. ( which happens each year or two and is a very painful process. As A child I longed for her attention and to have a real relationship. As an adult... I long for her to move away or disappear from my life all together. She made my life a nightmare as a child ( I was described as looking like I had been starved to death at age 13 by my family). I weighed 56 pounds! I still have to file to get her taken to the hospital and am treated like a criminal. She is destroying my adulthood as if childhood wasn't enough....
Dorothyc Dorothyc
41-45, F
3 Responses Jul 17, 2012

I do too. <3

Sorry you were also born into this world under these conditions. I also suffer through the same emotional distress of a bipolar mother and it is just one of those things that never seems to end. The dysfunctions it has caused my family life has become a long list of painful memories.

I have spent many many years in a dark place trying to understand the pains that took over and have come to conclude that life is much too short to let uncontrollable circumstances ruin your life.

First you must realize that, you aren't the only one on this planet that has a tough life. Secondly, you must learn how to deflect negative thoughts (a very tough skill to master) before it consumes you. Third, you must learn how to nurture your own goodness as a person, learn to love yourself, love what you do, love your life, and don't let anyone tell you other wise.

Last but not least... Understand that happiness is a choice and at times, requires effort. Learn to be vulnerable, and you will see that great outcomes that humans can do for you.

i have a bypolar mother as well and i think the best thing you can do is first understand its not her fault for a lot of it i been though like what you been though forest homes i been though 20 of them due to abuse and stuff. it is very hard but the best thing you can do is support her for a far not live with her handle only what you think you can handle like you can start with 30 mins a day and so on just to show support. try not to get sucked in her life i do the same with my mom i get sucked in all the time because i can not help it but at times you need to say to your self enough and just step back and a deep breath