She is mean, blaming, abusive, mad (all the time), and I can do nothing right. Yet why when she is her sweet self do I run back to her arms, forget everything she has put me and my brother and sister through and love her. I still have plans to leave at 18, but I still feel guilty about those thoughts. Even if she calls me names like idiot, lazy, stupid, etc (they get worse), even if she blames everything SHE does on me, even if I wake up to find her screaming and banging pots at 5:00 am. How she loves to play victim and hide behind her excuses and lies. Why do I still look back with love? I don't know maybe I'm too naive, thinking she'll eventually get better. I just can't stand her anymore, I need to finally let go of her.
Iamstronghp Iamstronghp
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 26, 2014

This is my life in a nutshell. If my room gets a bit unorganized or I gain some weight, our relationship will be hanging by a thread. She screams, rages, ransacks things. It's a nightmare. But when she isn't this way, she's the sweetest and funniest person ever. When she is this way, I'm living in hell.

I understand how you feel I am 57 and my mother is 73. I haav "put" up with her bipolar moods since I was big enough to remember. Wish I could get away but I am here because she is living with my 90 year old grandma and I worry about her hurting her so I have to stay. It's hard hope you can break away when you turn 18.