My Anger

I hate myself for being this way. I try real hard to be calm and i hold back but that just leads to explosions of rage. The stupidest part is that i will choose something so meaningless to ignite my fuse. My dad had anger issues too I almost think i inherited them when he passed away. I also use anger to cope with sadness stupid i know if something happens i wont cry like a normal person I'll get pi**ed off instead and it makes me feel stupid. No one really gets me they are like "just don't let stuff bother you" sounds so simple to them. I used to throw things and hit walls I remember throwing a plate of food against the wall once. I remember another time i was cleaning my floors with a rag on my knees and i couldnt get the soap off the floor so i started throwing water all over the floor and I just know my husband wonders from time to time if I'm a little nutty lol. I'm on medicine for panic disorder and i have to admit the outbursts of rage have lessened so now i'm just deppressed and don't like being in my own skin.

Luvmygirls81 Luvmygirls81
26-30, F
3 Responses Feb 22, 2010

I have terrible anger as well when I feel betrayed and let down I think my expectations are high. Somtimes I feel un loved and that can do it too.

I too also have "outburts" of rage.<br />
I often inflict damage upon myself.<br />
its sorta a way to release my anger without doing anything.

Thats like me too. I explode with rage, and get angry instead of sad. I understand how you feel when other people give you advice, they just don't understand. its not the same. one can't just "not get bothered"