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I Think I Have Anger Management Issues

I think i have anger management issues...but only with certain people, like my husband...he gets it the most. The smallest thing will push me over the edge...like copmmenting on somethign that i don't think makes sense. I will build up this irritation and replay the scene in head over and over again...until i explode...and then i don't care where i am or who's around me...i will go off on him. When we're at home i will throw things at him and hit him and say the most hurtfull things and i won't stop until he gets angry as well. Thats when i'll stop because now i know i got him to the same point where i was at.... And when he does burst out in anger, i get this sudden feeling of relief....like nothing is wrong.... am i losing it??? or have i already lost it???

henzee henzee 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 5, 2009

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I think I will look into this book. Thanks.

The only time when I have this issue is when someone abuses my kindness or trust. Then it's on....

Firstly, I would like to say 'Well done!' to you, for being brave enough to admit you have a problem. Many people are selfish and do not seek help. Secondly, now you are in a good position to do something about this. There are several methods of doing this, if you are willing to make an effort. I have had anger issues myself, but have never been violent, but I have had members of my family who have been. It is a common problem. 1 in 4 women suffer from domestic abuse and many men do too. You really aren't alone in venting your anger! Respect to you for 'owning up'. The best solutions I have found are in a book called 'Managing Anger' by Gael Lindenfield. They show what happens to you, when you get angery and how your body changes. It goes into detail about how our 'fight, flight, freeze' reactions sometimes occur inappropriately. It gives loads of tips about how anger shows itself, how to recognise why we are really angery (most anger stems from our past experiences and how we were brought up by our parents) and many practical solutions about how to manage our anger. These include practical exercises like learning how to be assertive without getting angry, the importance of exercise, good diet, avoiding drugs and alcohol, getting enough sleep and relaxation time, as well as loads of methods of how to avoid am arguement if one is about to start. I highly recommend the book if you are serious about wanting to change. I am sure there is alot of other similarly useful information on the internet. Good luck with your journey, I hope it is a successful and happy one.

Love is patient and is kind...you can read the rest of that description in 2Cor 13. That is how I choose to behave toward and with my husband. He's been beat up more than enough by the rest of the world, he doesn't need to get it from me, too. I have the priviledge and responsibility of being his best friend on Earth, and that is no small thing. There are many more productive and effective ways to deal with your issues than beating your precious husband with them. You've already said you need help, now go get it! Counseling is not for wimps!

Okay you have named your demon, what are you going to do about it? There are strategies and techniques to help deal with your anger and frustration but you have to learn them and decide to employ them. <br />
I know it may seem weak to you but have you considered counseling? If you don't get a handle on it your anger could undermine your whole life. Trying to deal with this alone is probably not the most effective way to approach the issue. <br />
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Good luck henzee, you have some work to do.