This Really Sounds Like Something I HaveI've read a couple other stories here, and this is the first I'm hearing about this condition! I can't believe no proffessional has ever bothered to put this on paper.
I mean, I still have preferances and desires, but it's only on the good days that I really FEEL anything at all, other than anxiety from my OCD and undiagnosed PTSD. When I was a teen it was probably at it's worst, my doctors were concernd, one psych specialist spent about an hour trying to get me angry to no avail. He managed to upset me, but couldn't anger me. In those days I still cried, but rarely for any reason I could pin down, and not very often at all. Even the crying stopped for a while. after a few years on my own, my emotions slowly started to manifest again, but not any of the positive ones, not until I started taking Anafrinil.
These days it's a constant struggle for my husband to get any positive emotion from me, and he's a very empathic person so this frustraits him and depresses him. After far as sexual pleasure, well between my low level of emotion and the fact that i'm a pre-op transsexual, I have never experienced true sexual pleasure. I smile for people, I enjoy what I can, but mostly life seems so pointless I don't even want to both half the time.
In terms of lifestyle, I guess I live a more responsible life than some, at least if I could get my negative emotions leveled out. stop the temper, stop the crying.... I collect comics books and play video games for enjoyment, but from a clinical standpoint I don't experience pleasure, my brain doesn't release the proper chemicals. When I do something I enjoy, it's more like remembering what it was like to feel happy, like nostalgia. I dunno, it's like there's a little positive emotion, but excitement, anticipation, joy, happiness, no. Humour, intrigue, yeah, but no joy. I'm not even sure what joy is.
So do do i have Anhedonia? I don't know, i'm not a doctor
AngelaDark 31-35, F 3 Responses 0 Sep 12, 2011