This Really Sounds Like Something I Have

I've read a couple other stories here, and this is the first I'm hearing about this condition! I can't believe no proffessional has ever bothered to put this on paper.

I mean, I still have preferances and desires, but it's only on the good days that I really FEEL anything at all, other than anxiety from my OCD and undiagnosed PTSD. When I was a teen it was probably at it's worst, my doctors were concernd, one psych specialist spent about an hour trying to get me angry to no avail. He managed to upset me, but couldn't anger me. In those days I still cried, but rarely for any reason I could pin down, and not very often at all. Even the crying stopped for a while. after a few years on my own, my emotions slowly started to manifest again, but not any of the positive ones, not until I started taking Anafrinil.

These days it's a constant struggle for my husband to get any positive emotion from me, and he's a very empathic person so this frustraits him and depresses him. After far as sexual pleasure, well between my low level of emotion and the fact that i'm a pre-op transsexual, I have never experienced true sexual pleasure. I smile for people, I enjoy what I can, but mostly life seems so pointless I don't even want to both half the time.

In terms of lifestyle, I guess I live a more responsible life than some, at least if I could get my negative emotions leveled out. stop the temper, stop the crying.... I collect comics books and play video games for enjoyment, but from a clinical standpoint I don't experience pleasure, my brain doesn't release the proper chemicals. When I do something I enjoy, it's more like remembering what it was like to feel happy, like nostalgia. I dunno, it's like there's a little positive emotion, but excitement, anticipation, joy, happiness, no. Humour, intrigue, yeah, but no joy. I'm not even sure what joy is.

So do do i have Anhedonia? I don't know, i'm not a doctor
AngelaDark AngelaDark
31-35, F
3 Responses Sep 12, 2011

yeah, seritonin would be a likly problem for me. I got desperate enough to try ecstacy a few months ago, and it had no effect on how I felt whatsoever. naturally, that worried me a little. So thanks for the suggestions, for once something different than what the doctors say. Thank you for the guidance and sympathy.<br />
<br />
now if they could just make multi-vitamins especially for this problem

And this doesn't seem to work with most people, on this site anyway, but it's worth a shot- try tryptophan, 5-HTP, rhodiola, Sam-e, calcium and manesium. The pts and ocd sounds like a serotonin problem and these all increase serotonin. I take them all at once, but only twice or so a week because when you consistently increase serotonin your body will build up a tolerance (downregulate the number of receptors that the serotonin can attach to) in order to mantain it's previous balance, you know kinda the way crack cocaine addiction works. As for lack of positive emotion, that's a dopamine problem and tyrosine, l-dopa, and mucuna pruriens increase dopamine. I've also heard someone say a product called Nadh turned around their anhedonia. Another person said 2000mg L-glutamine for 30 days did the trick. These didn't work for me but like I said it's worth a shot.

That definitely sounds like Anhedonia, but not in it's most severe form. If it was at it's worst you would be feeling zero positive emotion, none whatsoever. I have OCD and PTSD too and of course Anhedonia. Who cares if they're officially diagnosed? Do you really need a doctor to tell you what you's like when you have a cold you know you have a cold, when you have a headache you know you have a headache. It ****** me off when I go to the doctor and say I have Anhedonia and they say "Who diagnosed you with this?" And if you say "I did" they laugh. I definitely can feel anger, I want to smack the crap out of them.<br />
<br />
I gently suggest (I know it's far from easy) that, since you haven't lost your positive emotions 100%, that you take advantage of that and milk it for all it's worth. Because take it from me, once they're gone, they're gone. So try to make yourself feel better the best you can. Do things for yourself, whatever makes you feel good, even if you have to neglect others in your life for a little while. If there was a cure we wouldn't be here, but that's the best you can do.