Working On A Novel

Complete disclosure, I personally do not have Anorchia. What I suffer from is called hypogonadism, and I was rendered sterile due to a childhood illness. My equipment is very small, and doesn't function they way they should. It has left me with very low testosterone in my system, and a lifetime full of questions. I was not properly diagnosed until my late thirties.
My discussions and investigations have led me all around the internet, and into some very powerful conversations with other people who have suffered the way I have, and with those who have suffered much more than I can even know. These stories have influenced me profoundly.
At my later stage of life, I have decided that testosterone replacement is not for me. I am content with who I am, and do not wish to further upset the apple-cart, unless bone density issues become a problem.
Much of my issues have led me into fiction writing as a way to address the needs and concerns of people like me. My latest endeavor focuses on a child with anorchia. I have seven chapters currently completed (about 50,000 words), and am working with some experts in the field to make sure I get my medical and psychological details right.
The child in my story is born homeless, and only comes to the attention of Child Protective Services when he is 10 years of age. The system immediately recognizes his problem, and wants to immediately begin correcting the issue.
My story focuses on the cultural expectations upon children and their caregivers to make the child "normal". It focuses on the parental drive to do the right thing for your child. The medical drive to "heal" what is wrong. More than that, it focuses on how those drives and needs can damage a child's self image, and impact their self worth.
Can a child decide for themselves to live without being "corrected"? Can a parent or protective entity allow a child to decide his own developmental future?
I feel far more damage is done to a child by the expectations placed on him, than by the conditions under which he was born. It is the societal pressures to be "normal", to be masculine, and that you are not "complete" unless you have two hairy orbs swinging between your legs, that are the most damaging.
There is a very disturbing view that you must mold the child into what society expects of him, above the desires and needs of the child himself. It is this conflict that seems to be the most detrimental factor for children who have suffered this affliction, or other such similar problems.
It certainly was for me.
As an adult, when I finally got my diagnosis, the immediate response, almost wherever I went was, "Get on testosterone right now!" and "Testosterone will fix all your problems."
As an adult, I was free to decide for myself what I wanted, and what was best for me. Testosterone was not the solution. Understanding, and acceptance was.
I am curious to hear from people who have suffered from anorchia, and what your childhood was like. Did you feel in control of yourself and your future? Did you feel as though you were being pressured and altered to fit a certain mold?
If you had the choice, what decisions would you have made for yourself?
If you could have had a care giver that was 100% on your side, and would fight for you to be your own person, and decide your own future, what would you have chosen?
My goal in writing this story is to be as true to the reality as I can be in fiction. I do not want to do the community of people that suffer from this real affliction a disservice by coloring the story too deeply with my own preconceived notions and ideas on the subject.
I am aware that my own situation is very different. I did have two orbs swinging down there as a child, and I was not completely without some natural testosterone production from them. For me, my puberty came extremely late, and my "masculinity" never completely developed. Because it went so long without being diagnosed, my childhood was very confusing, and I felt I wasn't able to live up to those expectations society had for me. That, more than anything, is what led to my depression and a persistent sense of always being an outsider. Were the societal pressures removed or even merely explained to me as a child, I feel I would have been much more content, even if I were to remain as I was.
Your experiences and comments would be most valuable to me.
Thank-you in advance for any responses.
JosephKayne JosephKayne
36-40, M
Dec 6, 2012