What A Ride?

So a psychiatrist recently told me I have this disorder but doesn't want to write it down because hes just my treating doc from the locked up ward. My treating doc is a moron, although I begged him for months to lower my antidepressants as I am bipolar too he didn't, ignoring the very obvious signs of mania and instead leaving the world open to my sick mind.
My treating speacialist knows the other doc was wrong, I had a second opinion but it was a woman and I beleive he learned women were less than before he learned to be a doc, get it. So I soaked a security guard with 1.5 liters of water in the emergency and got admitted. I'm never violent, ever unless someone else is, i can provoke them easily but I'm trying to stop.
This is the first time I googled ASPD and I know sharing really helps me so...
hopefully I won't get banned from this site.
My first diagnosis of bipolar came from a doc who called me ****** in the same breath after being arrested at a childrens hospital my daughter was airlifted too 5 weeks earlier. My parents and bro called the cops so....
I've always thought my mother and brother were Bipolar but now I'm wondering if they are in our little circle as well. I don't really care, I just know I can't see them anymore.
Recently I have been given certified letters from both my current and last employer saying I can't come on the properties. The old employer called 911 when I walked down the street, I figured if I can't go over the line the least I could do was walk up to it and tell everyone to **** off. I'm staying away from my current employer as I love my job. I'm a janitor at an elementary school for kids jk- grade 4. I have the opportunity to make kids happy all day and its great. Don't get me wrong I'd still like to sleep in but when the kids arrive, it is up lifting.
The manipulation part is useful though, I get free **** all the time as with a short conversation I can convince most tellers that I hate the big corperation as much as they do and soon the stuff stops beeping on the way through the till and all is well.
I don't cheat on my family though. My dad was a dirty dog so even though my **** is always in semi auto, I had my wife's name tattooed under my ring to remind everyone. Sometimes bipolar girls are aggressive and need to be told to STAND DOWN cuz 10 minutes of awesome will create a lifetime of **** for me. I guess maybe thats why I don't/can't do it, the price is tooo high, I love my kids and wife so much and at least I got the internet ****, it help alot and my wife tells me to go take care of business if I'm too overwhelming to her.
I told my granddad on his deathbed I robbed him and that he was such a peice of **** no one would beleive him, even now, 2 days later he died, 3 days later we drank a 40oz bottle of whiskey and almost ditched the van in the funeral procession, then almost dropped the casket as we were each trying not to carry anyweight. I still have no remorse, thats scary to me.
Heavydex Heavydex
31-35, M
1 Response Dec 1, 2012

Not very socialized, huh? It's pretty helpful to stay UNDER the radar. uh, good luck