The Day It All ChangedAbout a year ago I was walking through the supermarket casually looking for ideas to make dinner when it came out of nowhere. My heart started beating fast, my palms got sweaty and I felt a rush of fear run through me. I felt this sudden fear of something is going to happen to me I need to leave. I proceed to go down the next aisle trying to finish my shopping and get out. I then turned the corner to the checkout line and saw the line. It was mid-day so not all the lanes were open and the few that were were busy. I stood in the shortest one praying it will go by fast. It didn't. I felt myself needing to leave like the building was on fire. I felt embarrassed by the possibility of leaving my cart abandoned in the middle of an aisle. Embarrassed and ashamed that I could not do a simple task that I have been doing for years, grocery shopping. I ended up leaving my cart in aisle waiting to be found. As soon as I was outside and inside my car, I felt relief. Relief that I was going home to where I believed was my safety zone. I speed home and when I got home I was angry and hated myself. I cried and cried wondering why this was happening to me now. For the next several weeks I was so afraid to do anything that I made my boyfriend (at the time) do all the shopping for me. I was even scared to go to work for fear of having an attack at work or while driving to work. I ended up leaving 30 mins early everyday to avoid sitting in traffic.
That day changed my life from being able to walk out the door to having to force myself to walk out the door. I told myself I would not be held captive and one day I had enough. I sought out a therapist and it was by far the best decision I made. I didn't want medication, just a healthy natural way of dealing with it all. My therapist opened my eyes and mind to la