Struggling With Self Esteem And Anxiety Issues

I have never realized some issues I have until now, I'm 20 years old and unable to find a job. My self esteem and anxiety are affecting my ability to do these things in my life. I see my 2 closest friends with jobs, social lives, boyfriends, living on there own, and I feel so far away from all of that. I still live at home and commute to college everyday via bus. But now that it is summer I feel all this pressure to get a job and move out because I will be 21 very soon. I seem to care more about fixing and helping others in my family , but i realize now that I have some of my own issues to deal with. My younger sister has been struggling with anxiety and depression for a few years now and she has always been the center of my parents' attention. i am the silent, strong, responsible one. 

I am terrified to go on interviews, only applied to a couple of places but no word from them. I had a horrible first interview experience and ever since i've been terrified. i got a job in 2008 and the interview went good, why im stuck on the bad, I don't know. i had that job for 3 months before it became too much with work and school, plus I didn't like it there. I have a very low self-esteem and its hard seeing my two other best friends who don't really know that i have these struggles, cause secretly i want to be like them. They seem so happy and successful. And im just here at home with no job, few friends, and I'm just plain stuck. i've always struggled with social anxiety, but it seems like my lack of confidence and self esteem is making it worse. now im just depressed because of it and cannot find the motivation to just suck it up and move on and continue looking for a job. :(
deleted deleted
26-30
May 24, 2010