Fear.

I've had varying problems with anxiety since I was at least ten, often being more nervous than was average, but it got worse as I got older.  In middle school, news stories related to war, natural disasters, and impending end of  the world scenarios (this was pre-y2k) all provoked a sense of unease and racing nervousness in me, but it took a while for it to get really bad.

It got a bit worse in high school, and moreso in my early 20's, but it wasn't until around Jan. of 2003 that it really took off and became a serious issue for me.  It still took me a year to seek any kind of proper medical treatment, which worked, though I still deal with lighter anxiety when on medication.

I've more or less become accustomed to living with it, as I try to avoid anything too triggering without having to go out of my way to avoid it.  Only a few things really set me off badly, and some of them are actually kind of weird, abstract, and obscure, which makes things easier.  What's harder to deal with is when I have a sense of free floating anxiety, a vague anxiety that is not about anything specific, but ends up latching on to something I might not even worry about under ordinary circumstances.

Also difficult to deal with is when people don't seem to realize how deep the fear and anxiety can run when one is in full anxiety mode, or whatever you want to call it.  It seems difficult for anyone who doesn't deal with this to grasp just how much of a hold it can have on you when it gets really bad, and that it's far more than just worrying in the conventional, everyday sense.

It's still not as bad as in 2003 or so, though some incidents have seemed almost as bad.  Maybe the initial onset of this in t's full blown form just seems worse compared to what came after because it was the first time and I was completely unprepared for it.

 

Well, that's all I have to say about it for now.  There's a lot of ground I could cover, but thinking of all of this is leaving me kind of unfocused so I decided to just go with a faster summary.  

 

Seeya!

KamatariSeta KamatariSeta
26-30, M
1 Response Mar 7, 2010

I know how you feel. I have random anxiety attacks that seem to have no trigger. They come on randomly at work, the grocery store, a restaurant... It's really hard to cope with something you can't explain, especially when no one around you understands just how hard it is to live with this illogical feeling of impending doom that I get for absolutely no reason at all. I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember (I'm 21) and I've yet to go to a dr. I've done research and they don't recommend medication, just therapy which will help me try to cope with it.. I just don't see the point of therapy when it comes on randomly for no specific reason. Ya know?
Do all of your attacks have a trigger or do you ever get sporadic attacks like I do?
And is it likely that even the ones that seems to have no trigger, might have a not-so-obvious underlying trigger?