Job Anxiety!!!!

I started this job at a fast food place (whose name I will not disclose) back in May and have been here for six months. I have always had this lingering uncomfortable feeling about the job. Every time I walked in I felt edgy. My fears weren't confirmed until the first time I was put on drive thru. The lobby was being rebuilt, so there were really no other options.

It started out well, but things went to **** when the rush started, which was probably at like 7 or 8 am.

There is this one manager in particular that I just feel so uncomfortable around. I try to interact with her as little as possible, but it wasn't really an option for me this time. I'd had a few iffy interactions with her before, but this was definitely the worst out of all of them.

I kept getting yelled at to pay attention, that I couldn't mess up any orders, that she couldn't "sit here and hold my hand" or something to that effect. There was more, but at that point I was so emotional that everything else just kind of blurred out. This will probably sound so ridiculous, but it was traumatizing. I broke down in tears during my break. I felt absolutely horrible.

My manager (not the same one) was understanding and told me to call back when the lobby was finished, but it didn't give me any closure on the situation. Every time I drive past there I tense up and think that something bad is going to happen. Coincidentally, I rear ended a car right outside the place not long ago.

I honestly can't talk to many people about this. It's not the worst thing that can happen to a person, so I feel like it's not even worth discussing. I'm just going to be told that I should move on with my life and not let it bother me.

I just feel ridiculous that it's affecting me this much. I am desperately looking for other jobs. Most of them are only seasonal though. I am currently waiting for calls from two jobs, one that is seasonal and one that is part time (the one that is going to replace my current job). Ugh, I am just so sick of this hanging over my head.

I feel guilty because it's been a little over a week since I last worked, but I can't motivate myself to call in to see if they need anyone. I know I should, but I get this knot in the pit of my stomach.

I just want to quit, but my parents don't want me to--they do have a point about having another job lined up first. But I am just so sick of feeling edgy and nervous all the time.

This job anxiety has seeped in to other areas of my life, even when I'm not working. It's ridiculous. The other day at school I ordered a burger with fries. For whatever reason one of the women working there was yelling at the guy behind the counter, and I felt myself becoming uneasy. Even watching the fries being cooked makes me feel this way. When I drive, sometimes I feel like I'm going to get yelled at if I make a mistake, even though I'm the only one in the car. At this point, it's hard for me to go to a fast food place, even when I'm craving it. One time I visited that restaurant at a different location and saw a manager get upset, and I couldn't help feeling uncomfortable. 

I know I won't be working here forever, so I don't know why I am still upset over it. I don't consciously try and think about it, the event just triggers in my mind under certain circumstances.

I also know that I won't be able to survive any other jobs if I keep reacting this way in other jobs. It's frustrating. 

Anyways, I don't have much else to say. I just needed to get this out there.

mrsnorris22 mrsnorris22
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 25, 2012

Hey, on the plus side not wanting to visit fast food places will lower your risk of a heart attack :)) Seriously though, I know exactly where you're coming from, have a look through my stories if you don't believe me. I have worked in a busy retail store and in a fast food place but had to leave both jobs because of my anxiety. It's not that I'm a slow learner or anything, but wasn't picking things up because I felt uncomfortable and these feeling were clouding my ability to focus.
Anyway my point is, you should definitely talk to your school counsellor and try to get some help for this, I wish I had been able to recognise what was wrong when I was at high school and had the good sense to get help instead of being in denial. At least you're aware that you have a problem, good luck and I hope you can get past this horrible condition :)