How Do You Deal?

My anxiety is the worst in the morning. I wake up with my stomach flipping and a restless feeling. I smoke a cigarette, make some calming tea, smoke a little weed and take 2 Klonopin. I am off my meds and only have 3 Klonopin left. When I drink a beer it kind of calms me but gives me an out of control feeling. I am disabled from a failed suicide attempt and my balance is already not so good and my speech is slurred already, too.

I believe its easier to come up from a dark and depressed place than to come down from anxiety. Ive suffered both throughout my life and looking back on the big picture, I can say that from experience. Both are awful, sad and lonely places to be. But we dont have control of how our mind changes our mood or what mood it will be. All we can do is cope and recover.

Yesterday, I was up early, cleaning the house, in a good mood and I didnt isolate myself. I stayed up late and slept well the entire night for once. Then today I had this bad feeling that my mood or manic was coming to end and it was going to be bad, whatever was coming. I hate that feeling. Im disabled and cant work, so I live at home and go stir crazy everyday all day.
tmarker86 tmarker86
26-30, F
1 Response Dec 12, 2012

you are probably having anxiety because you have stopped your medication, and withdrawls cause anxiety and panic attacks. I know bc it happened to me. The best you can do for that is take the klnopin, and stop the weed, the weed will make it worse. alcholo also can make it worse and cause insomia and depression. Call in your meds, so you don't withdraw, and stay off the weed and alcohol.

Ill try my best. Thank you.