Internal, Invisible Panic

Today my anxiety is kicking my as*. More family drama that causes major stress and an overwhelming barrage of emotions. Its only 11:30 in the morning and my state of mind is descending down a slippery slope. Im having issues with personal problems and I am trying to learn to live without medication. Everything has an extreme emotional impact on me that lasts way too long and is way too intense.

I am disabled and cant work, so I just sit around being bored and anxious and self medicating. I have an entire day to get through, but my heart is heavy today and its going to be an unfortunate struggle to make it till bedrime. I had to take 4 Klonopin today already and yesterday I had a secret cry session in my bathroom, and I think I feel one coming on today.

Its gonna be one of the hard days, I can already tell, though Im trying to stay positive and busy. I feel depressed and tired, though. What to do.. what to do..
tmarker86 tmarker86
26-30, F
3 Responses Dec 15, 2012

Tmarker86 we can do this ;)

I'm having severe anxiety right now so I understand. And I'm stuck on a 5 hour road trip with my dad driving 10 miles under the speed limit & my mom talking non stop without breathing! I also can't smoke so it's pretty bad. I don't take meds anymore so it's hard.

I have secret crying spells at times too. I have found talking to people on here with similar issues helps. If you need someone to chat with at times just message me. Wish you the best :)

awww g girl i feel your pain...but congrats on no meds anymore!..not sure i will ever be able to do that..but i've cut down significantly....you've gained strength...you will triumph :)

It's been 3 weeks with no meds. First rough spell since then. Been 3 days now. I keep telling myself breathe!

Well..first be very careful with the klonapin. I used to be on that stuff too, i wrote a story about it, it's so very addictive. It literally took me years to get myself off the stuff. Just remember as well.....keep trying....but...don't be a hero, you can get your life back to a manageable state

Thats what Im working towards. I developed such a tolerance for klonopin it doesnt do anthing anymore. I prefer valium and xanax.