I not really sure, if its not anxiety then its some new kind of crazy. Pressure has been on lately at school, when ever the homework and papers start piling up I go nuts. I chew the inside of my cheeks and lips raw, I stay up late , I over eat, and I cry a lot. But I know some is constant in this because its not just during finals or whatever, I am always parnoid that I'll gonna fail, or be late. I was late to class once in middle school, I cried and almost tripped over a classmate on my way to my seat, i dont know what I said but the teacher sent me out to the hall and I cried even more. I get lumps in my throat everytime we do stupid class interviews in school. I usually sit frozen, answering questions here and there. I cried once during those too. Resently had a break down during regastration for next year, I had room for one more class but i didn't know what to put, i freaked out. It makes me feel weak not to have control over my reactions, I am shy and quiet and reserved. its so embrassing when i break down, it just makes it worse, feels like everyone is watching you.

Last year it got so bad that there were moments where i had no control, my mind would go into overdrive. All kinds of fear and anger and exitment flashed though me for no reason at all. I had moment when i was soo afraid that i couldnt move. I was so drained that it became hard to stay awake in class. I am very scared that this might happen to me again.

LadyOfTheThorns LadyOfTheThorns
18-21, F
Mar 14, 2010