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Neurotypical Personality Disorder

Neurotypical Personality Disorder (NTPD) is a personality disorder categorized under Cluster D (common and un-evolved). Sufferers from this disorder show an irrational need to have friends and different kinds of relationships with other humans at all times, exhibit strange extraverted behavior and most have a mortal fear to loneliness. Sufferers also show delusions like “delusion of grandeur” which makes them think that this disorder is the “normal and healthy” personality for humans and that all humans should behave like this.

History

This disorder has been affecting humans since the beginning of humanity itself. Scientist says this behavior is coded in dated genes that were useful millennia ago when humans needed to travel and hunt in packs, humans that didn´t “fit in” or didn´t adapt to the general rules of the pack would be left out of the group, this could result on a reduced chance of survival for the excluded individual.

It’s prevalence is high affecting the vast majority of humans (+90%).

Signs and Symptoms

Almost all of the sufferers from NTPD display all of the following symptoms. These symptoms result from the presence in the sufferer of dated genes that make them think (even at a subconscious level) that humanity still need to travel and hunt in packs like our ancestors and that we still need to develop strong bonds and cling together for survival.

- A constant and irrational need to feel related to other humans, mostly other humans suffering from the same disorder. This need is so strong in these sufferers that they still feel the need to be in contact with others even when not present, resulting in the invention and high popularity  of devices like Cellphones and computer programs called “social networks” (see Facebook).
- A constant need to feel loved and that they “belong”. This need has to be always fulfilled or the affected can develop depression, alcoholism or suicidal tendencies.
- Extreme fear to loneliness or being alone. Sufferers can not even be alone for short periods of time (minutes), to mitigate the fear they resort to the aforementioned devices to “be in contact” again as soon as possible.
- Extraverted behavior. Engaging in social gatherings called “parties” where they tend to abuse substances like drugs or alcohol and show other behaviors like dancing and courtship.
- Need to constantly show to fellow sufferers that they “belong to the pack”, behaving like everybody else in the pack. Different ways of thinking or behavior is considered risky and not allowed; they fear they may be excluded from “the pack”.
- Sexual promiscuity. Change partner very often.
- Susceptibility to trends exposed to them on ads, TV, magazines and other media.
- Since they are emotionally ridden they need to constantly "feel alive" and "enjoy life", expresions used by most of the affected. They travel, party, marry and engage in other activities that, to them, fulfill those needs. Not engaging in these kind of activities regularly may trigger depression, substance abuse or a general feeling of emptiness and boredom.
- Delusion of a “social ladder”. This delusion makes the sufferer think there exists a social ladder or similar hierarchy, where at the top are the most extraverted and materialistic humans. This delusion produces in the affected person a constant need to show others their “worth” through material possessions, talk about high ranks in jobs, social gatherings, or possessing some kind of authority (mostly in males) or physical beauty (mostly in females). This make the need for material possessions and authority a priority in the affected.
- Delusion of grandeur. Most think they are geniuses and that the Neurotypical Personality Disorder is “the normal and healthy way to be”, every other person showing other personality types is disregarded or excluded. Little do they know real geniuses from humanity displayed traits of personality types they call “disorders” (Aspergers, Bipolar, Schizoid and similar funny names), like Leonardo DaVinci, Nikola Tesla, Einstein an many, many others.

Treatment

There’s not known effective treatment. Since this is a personality disorder it can be permanent and fixed in the personality and behavior of the affected person, any kind of treatment my produce depression or substance abuse in the sufferer. Some studies show prolonged Solitary Confinement may be an extreme and risky but effective treatment.

Recommendations

Due to their delusion of grandeur it is recommended that non-neurotypicals  interact the less possible with people affected with this disability,  non-neurotypical can trigger a bullying response in sufferers of NTPD.   Also, do not attempt to change them nor explain or excuse your personality traits to them, their delusions make them think the one with the disorder is  you. Again, keep contact with them at the bare minimum.

(note: this whole article is a satire, "officially" there does not exists a disoder called Neurotypical Personality Disorder, it is just a little joke describing the Neurotypicals as they describe us non-neurotypicals like if we have a disorder...)
GPeck GPeck 26-30, M 4 Responses Nov 14, 2012

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I've been reading a lot about this condition lately; it's so fascinating yet so tragic (yet so funny). There is one thing that perplexes me (well, everything about these people perplex me and I don't mean that in a derogatory way); if they want to "feel alive" and "enjoy life" why the hell would they marry?

clever..
normal, right, wrong, good and bad are all just points of perspective.
Should be mass posted on spacebook...
hope you do some more.

This is full of awesome. :)

Love this, so true. I have AS, undiagnosed in my time (50 yrs old) and two daughters. One with AS that I understand perfectly. The other one with NTPD, she that puzzles us both. Her behavior seems overly dramatic and dependent on others, and she talks soooo much. But we love her for her quirkiness.