Can You Help?

My son may have the potential diagnosis of Asperger's but I am so confused about this. The clinical psychiatrist he was seeing thought he might have ADHD. Is this part of Asperger's too?? When someone has Asperger's are they obsessive about some things? Can someone with Asperger's go to college and hold down a job? I just have so many questions that I don't know who to turn to........

Beth409 Beth409
36-40
3 Responses Feb 27, 2009

Hi, I just read about your son. My 7 yr. old daughter has Asperger's I'm completely sure. My family DR. agrees and I will be bringing it up next month with my daughter's Dr. (she sees a specialist already for neurofibromatosis and ADHD). She is an amazing little girl who joined our family by adoption at birth. She is very smart and funny but cannot connect with people. She is obsessed with dogs and the color yellow. SHe has to have yellow in at least some form on her everyday! LOL...<br />
It breaks my heart that she is always alone at school. She WANTS to play with people and have friends, but can't seem to be able to do that. She did not get invited to one single birthday party this year and it broke her heart. She's going into grade 2 in the fall and I struggle greatly with wondering if I should keep her in mainstream school or do something different. She, of course can't handle change very well at all and loves her school, although I just ache for her to fit in a little and have a few good friends. She has 3 sisters; 2 of which are younger and her 5 yr. old sister makes friends wherever she goes. I feel that must be very hard on my daughter and make her feel further alienated with it in her face all the time. Her grade 1 teacher said the other kids didn't know how to deal with her because she was different. Her teacher liked her very much and said she was such a kind girl to others all the time (which she Is) and that it was sad. I had a mother come up to me and tell me that no one in the class liked her. I know the parents gossip. I can see the looks and actually FEEL the negative "vibes" if you will. I'm sure their kids have heard some things they say and it contributes to the problem. She's got so many things she has to deal with and it breaks my heart.

Everything you said about Aspergers describes my son perfectly!! He is 12 now and I don't understand why it took this long for someone to diagnose him with this? Is Aspergers that complicated? Do kids with Aspergers also have some learning problems? My son has trouble in Math, but other subjects he seems to do okay in.

ADHD is not on the same spectrum as Asbergers but it is very often associated with it. If your son has both , yiou are certainly facing a big job in caring for him.<br />
<br />
On the other hand, as people have said, they are often very intelligent and can make great lives for themselves.<br />
<br />
Without knowing your son I cannot tell you about him, but I can tell you things to look for in a child with Asbergers.<br />
<br />
Obsessive? Yes! Often about one topic to the exclusion of others. eg. LOVE Star Wars (or dinosaurs, or any thing!) and will know heaps of facts about this topic and find it endlessly interesting. Does not grasp that others do not share his fscination for it!<br />
<br />
Obsessive about routines - everything MUST be done in a certain way, in a certain order, at a certain time. Some Asbergers people are more relaxed than others, but most HATE change and like everything to stay the same.<br />
<br />
Some people with Asbergers have slightly "odd" voices - their voices don't sound exactly like others. This may be a very "flat" sound - little alteration in tone or volume, or it may be avery precise way of speaking - sometimes caled the "little Professor" way of talking.<br />
<br />
Asbergers people DO love people and have feelings (a common mistake is to think they don't) but they often do not understand the usual ways in which peple "relate" to each other. This can make them seem aloof, rude or uncaring.<br />
<br />
These children need to be taught to understand that others have emotions and how those emotions look - in other words, that a person crying is sad. (That type of thing.)<br />
<br />
They usually are very literal - cannot understand sayings (such as "a pat on the back" - do not recognise the term means they are being praised - may wonder why someone wants to pat their back????? lol!)<br />
<br />
Often do not understand that general directions include them. In school I learnt to say: "Time to pack up everyone" and then add "Joey, you need to pack up now too"- because Joey didn't think "everyone" included him.<br />
<br />
If any of these traits sound like your son, I would think Asbergers is a likely diagnosis. Please don't think of it as "the end of the world" altho' it is very upsetting to discover your child has a disability.<br />
<br />
Instead, see it as a reason for all the "odd" behaviours and a key to going forward with more understanding of how to help him and manage your home life.<br />
<br />
Every best wish for the future.