I Have As, and Adhd As Well.

I am a 40 year old married female, with medically confirmed AS.  ( My husband has ADD and Tourettes. )  I'm curious about a few things, as I have never met another adult Aspie.  What are some of the biggest challenges you face in your world?  Are you partnered/married, and if so, how does your AS affect your relationship with your significant other?  What about with your in-laws?   
JusDifferent JusDifferent 41-45, F 31 Responses Nov 25, 2007

Your Response


I also have both Aspergers and A.d.d./HD

i've had a quick look at some of the older posts on here, and I thibk I can sum most of it up in a name... Douglas Adams... now it is tomorrow and bed beckons. it's been a long day

I know this hasd been open for quite sometime but reading all the way through has helped me alot.

And I get that woobly leg thingy too, never new it was linked to aspergers though.

thank you for the threads.

HI EVERYONE, i must first apologise, I feel that I am trespassing! Let me explain, I do not have a dagnoses of asperger syndrome, or autism., I am a 'normal'(whatever that is?) I do however work with chldren with autism and aspergers, within a main stream school .Ultimately, in order to help these children, I need help myself., but need to discover from the people who know best, YOU. Are there any negatives to being diagnosed, or is it ,as people would have me think, is it positives all the way?

Thanks for any comments, and help, sorry again for invading.

Sorry, not 2 sure if I understand ur question... I am married, but did have an "open relationship" 4 a while, however 4 various & sundry reasons, we R now back monogamous. If U R asking about polyamory, open relationships, etc... There is a group on EP titled "I am polyamorous" - I have posted in there. Also, in my blog, there is an entry regarding this subject.

As far as sex goes - other than occasionally getting "overstimulated", ( solved by slowing down, or even stopping 4 a min ), no, I don't really have any issues. Now, relationships, however, R an entirely different can of worms...

Hope this helped, if not, write back & we'll try again ;-/

How does the person get to experience this in his/her liftime-- casual dating and/or casual intimacy(whether sexual or not, FwB: "Friends with Benefits") with a heterosexual, peer-aged person of the opposite sex/gender . . .

if the person is: heterosexual and has Aspergers Syndrome? ?

And, what is the 'how-to' do about casual dating for such a person? ?

This group is boring; since March 2010; due to no n e w current 'chats'/'talk'.

All the best 2 U, my friend, ((( HUG ))), it is such a struggle sometimes, isn't it? There is a wonderful book called "Solutions for Adults With Aspergers Syndrome", by Juanita Lovitte, ( sp? ) - it helped me SOooo much. BTW : I very much understand the "bubble analogy". So true...

I recently learned enough about Aspergers to self diagnose. I apparently am one of those "lucky" Aspies who was born with a marginal dose of whatever causes it. For most of my 66 years I felt like I was in some kind of glass bubble. I understood everything going on outside my bubble but was unable to communicate that correctly to anyone out there. Likewise, they could see me and initially thought that i was one of them. I looked like a duck. I walked like a duck but this duck could not quack. As soon as they discovered that they stayed away from my bubble or pretended it did not exist. About a year ago, I came across some literature and a checklist of AS symptoms. I had some degree of every symptom on the list but only clumsiness and severe shyness marked me as weird. Thank you all for sharing on this subject. I will return with more about my lifelong struggles.

Well, it's different for each of us... Me, I have a HUGE problem with "sensory overload". I never go anywhere without dark shades, earplugs, and my Mp3 - helps with a world that is often too loud & too bright.

My nephew is a diagnosed Aspie and was doing fine until a couple of weeks ago when he was kicked out of 6th grade for throwing a "fit." My sister then started reading and now thinks that a lot of our family may be Aspies. Can you believe it? Well, after reading more, I totally agree with her. Some of us are much better than others.

Once you know, it's kind of nice. But I want to know how to cope better. What are the Aspie coping mechanisms?

I am married to a very patient man who basically tolerates me and loves me. I am very, very lucky. He seems to be turned on by my oddness. I do feel bad for my children though. Neither of them have girlfriends because I am so odd and they don't want to bring a girlfriend home to meet their odd mother.

Anytime, Color! Windy, there are a lot of things that "mimic" AS, such as ADHD, ( although some of us have this, as well ), Tourettes, severe depression, and even anti-social personality disorder. One AS dead "giveaway", that can help to distinguish it from other disorders, is "sensory overload", ( the inability to tolerate certain smells, sights, or sounds ). Do you have this?

Now, there are people that have "sensory integration disorder", ( SID ), issues, that do NOT have AS. But, if other AS symptoms are present, as well as SID, then an Asperger's diagnosis is a definite possibility.

There are other "hallmarks", as well, such as difficulties with communication; poor eye contact; a-social behavior; difficulties establishing, and maintaining long-term relationships; difficulties understanding other's emotions; preoccupation with the "part", as opposed to the "whole"; hyper-focusing... Any of that sounding familiar?

Thank you so much for this thread. My good freinds son was diagnosed with asbergers and adhs last week. I wish you all the best. Hugs, CMR

"Payless", dear... "Payless". *It's all I can afford these days!

Oh, Auntie Em, I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore! The wizard is a sham, my little red shoes are really Taiwanese knock-offs, and the flying monkeys are running the show! Oh, pay no attention to me, I have Yankee cabin fever, and am rambling, that or merely putting off snow removal. Well, it's been fun, but time to go... Like a wild *** out into the storm, I go forth... If I don't comeback, send out the St. Bernards, laden with little barrels of hot tea! * I take lemon and honey in mine...

< Laz - he's kind of like a girl in a "guy suit" >

You flatterer you! :o) (Glowing!)

Ooooh! Snow! I just love sledging but never get the chance here. The muffled sounds, the way the snow makes the everyday so beautiful, hurtling down extreme slopes!

Jealous! I just love extremes of weather! Hurricanes, floods, ice, heat. Exiting! :o)


Ooh, Luv, I AM sorry about those builders, and the mess outside your doorstep! Earplugs? ( I keep both earplugs and hearing protectors with me, at all times! ) I don't see how the "normals" survive with out them...

Yes, I have days where my AS seems worse. Fatigue, illness, injury, menstruation, { It's okay we can say that around Laz - he's kind of like a girl in a "guy suit" ;-}, all makes it worse. *( That was a compliment, Laz. ) Being in a new place, or around new people, also tends to cause problems, as well. On days like that, I just try and cut my self some slack, chamomile tea and Valerian can help with the nerves. ((( "cyber-hug" ))) and online sympathy for our Laz...

PS : I will try and check out that test, later. We are enduring a blizzard today, up here in New England, and will most probably loose power, later on. The snow is falling at a rate of 4" per hour, and the poor plows just can't keep up, so if I go "dark" for a while, that is what is going on.

Just found Baron-Cohen's Autism Spectrum quotient test.

I just scored a 42 which seems really high to me. NT males average out at 17 with HFA and AS around 35. Perhaps being under the weather with a building site 5ft from my front door doesn't help. Huge soil boring machine and another that vibrates steel plates into the ground. The whole house resonates...

What was that about input overload? I can't even smoke as there are friendly, chatty, construction workers (See? translating into american automatically now... they're "builders" over here) right outside.

I want to shout at them for ruining my peace and quiet, realise it's not their fault, don't want to get caught up in their NT,football, breasts and mysogyny banter. Hate feeling uncomfortable like this.

I bet they normally get little old NT ladies bringing them tea. I just scowl, avoid eye contact and dive in my front door hoping they will get the message if I slam it very loudly. Must look childish to the outside world I guess.

You got me examining things JD & BK. Trying to find shared traits for you JD because i like this new found aspie comraderie and explaining them to you BK, for me also. How many people take the time to examine thoughts, feelings and behaviours? Not many i'd say.

I get this feeling around NTs sometimes. They live in a seemingly autonomous state. Data in, data out. Without processing in between. No thought about what to say, what expression to wear, how to stand, how it makes them feel. What's going on around them. The machines they use. They just do it... It seems to be almost an unconscious state. No thought, all hard wired.

Not feeling like an observer sent here to try and blend in and study the natives without getting caught.

But also missing much of the natural world about them. No physics, meteorology, chemistry, astronomy. Never pushing at the edge of what they know or noticing the wonders of the world.

Anyway... sometimes aspiehood sucks. Like today. I want a peaceful smoke on my doorstep, no one swearing outside and a house that doesn't vibrate. But instead i'm tense and moody sat here waiting for them to knock off for the day.


Yea, we live in semi-rural, small town, New England. There is an adult Aspie group in the regional vicinity, but it is almost in Boston, and meets around 7 PM. I am NOT going to drive in Boston, if I don't have to, especially at night! ( I want to go, but not THAT bad! )

There are a few more groups that meet in other locations, ( not close to me ), but they are run by AANE, ( Asperger's Association of New England ). AANE does some fine work, but it is NT operated, and facilitated, from what I understand. I called there once, and spoke to them, regarding attending a group. Their response was that they wanted me to come in, and "intake" me, and then THEY would decide what group I would attend - I DON'T THINK SO. I have had ENOUGH "files opened on me", to last me a life-time. I am a human being with a life - not a guinea pig to be studied and grouped. I just want to meet other people like like me, that's all.

Kitty, where ever you are, if it is in your "power" to do so, it would truly be a "public service" to try to get a support group together for adult Aspies. A child's life is very simple, compared to an adult's. Children also have other people looking out for them. Adults, ( with AS ), have very complex, stressful lives, and often have no one to rely on, but themselves. Have you ever wondered what will happen to all those kids you work with, once they become adults? They have all this lovely care and support, then they turn 18, and it all stops. The lucky ones will have supportive families, or live near others "of their own kind", many more, ( like me ), will find their way into places like EP, but more still, will just sadly "fall through the cracks".

I am glad that AS is FINALLY a recognised condition, and that there are people like you, out there working with the kids. ( I can't help but ruminate, about how different my own life could have been, if this had been caught early on. ) Yet, I am saddened by the lack of resources for adults, and their spouces/families. Yes, Kitty, I'm very glad to meet you too. I wish you well with your endeavors. It's good to know that someone out there is doing something.

PS : For when those kids get to be adults - "Solutions for Adults with Asperger's Syndrome", by Dr. Jaunita Lovett - made a H-U-G-E difference in my life.

I was told that there is only one Dr. currently involved in diagnosing adult AS. Simon Baron-Cohen (Yep! Borat's brother!) at the Departments of Experimental Psychology and Psychiatry, University of Cambridge. And then you have to pay for it. But I'm not sure of the actual benefit. Would being labelled "disabled" in this society really help?

With the advent of the internet we now have access to many papers on AS, was just reading this one

and we can converse with others with AS. Children need diagnosing as soon as possible. It's the only way to avoid them being crushed by the state school system that is designed for social, NT kids and really can't cope with anyone different. But it's a bit late for me now. I've built up coping strategies that would mask a lot of out and out aspie traits (I think this explains why so few doctors attempt adult diagnosis). I must admit my life makes much more sense now i know about AS. But I'm at a loss as to what could be done to help me.

Mind you, I finally found out my self medication with amphetamines actually had some sense behind it. I just felt more like me! Thoughts, ideas and concepts flow with amphetamines. Without it's often a struggle to be bothered. Why stick your head above the parapet just so some callous NT can knock you back down. Amphetamines spark the interest, give you the confidence to be you and sod the NT world. Long intricate thoughts become a pleasure, getting into the details, making new connections between seemingly disparate ideas... My discovery of amphetamines felt like I'd found something that had previously been missing in my make up. This pre dated the therapeutic use of Ritalin and it's isomers so I understood why it's use caught on so quickly. This too pointed out to me the possible link between the autistic spectrum and ADHD.

Perhaps meeting some aspies in the flesh might be good. I have acquaintances but no friends IRL. Sometimes I think i'm missing out, sometimes I think Morrigan could do with a break from what she must see as an unhealthily co-dependant (I type that word, been told it's a BAD thing, but I don't feel it as such... seems a cosy, inclusive word to me.) relationship and from what I read i'm pretty atypical in this society being so happy with just my partner.

Not sure why stimming should be considered bad. Rocking is comforting. Syncopation is a good thing in many NT hobbies (dance, music etc.) Morrigan said last night "Hey! Aspie Boy... there's one of your strange leg wobbles. (I kinda like aspie boy.. it shows understanding and acceptance with a dash of humour) I was totally unconscious of it but as soon as she mentioned it I noticed I had right foot going with right hand marking the quarter beat changing to marking the half beat alternately.

Telling kids off for something that is totally unconscious behaviour is just plain wrong. The movement may look ordered, complex or difficult to keep up to an NT. But it just falls out of me at times with no awareness often on my part.

I'll rock after a meltdown to calm myself. And sometimes stim consciously for fun (getting a pattern "just" right, slickly is a good feeling!) but mostly it's on the same level as breathing. Not aware till it's pointed out or you choose to take notice.

Whoops.... waffled my head off again. I'm discovering stuff as I write it down. Actually putting it down in text forms words out of what were previously just internal feelings about stimming. Not sure I like that word... Must think of a better one.


Oh, Morgan, that is just TOO funny! Yea, I have a thing with symmetry, as well, but am slowly getting over it. ( I will deliberately put 7 flowers in a vase, instead of six; or put something askew on a shelf just to see how long I can stand it. ) No, thank the gods, I do NOT do the leg bouncing thing in bed, only when sitting. * I am doing it now, as I board; the darn thing is just "going to town"! Ugh, those "crazy Aspie legs" - gotta love 'em. ( 'Cause they irritate the living hell out of everyone else! )

No, Kitty, I haven't really had much luck in finding any kind of AS therapy program for adults. When I was officially diagnosed, ( last autumn ), my doctor said to me : "Well, the good news is : I have no problem at all with issuing a positive AS diagnosis, but the bad news is : there's not really any resources available for adults in your area. " To say I was "disheartened", was putting it mildly. Kitty, you know my B-I-G, FAT, hot, hairy issue with the AS professional community? They seem to leave "adult Aspies" out of the picture! The way the medical/psychiatric community behaves, you'd think that AS was fatal, and that all Aspies died upon reaching their "sell-by-date" of 18 years! WE DO NOT DIE! We grow up, and eventually grow old. We go to college, get jobs, fall in love, buy homes, have babies, ***** about in-laws, housework, and taxes - just like everyone else. There are a few resources for Aspie kids in my area, but NOTHING for adults! It makes me SO angry! I own a business, and a home in the community, and pay my taxes like everyone else, but yet there is no help for me, and those like myself. It's SO frustrating! *Okay, I'm climbing down off my soapbox, now - sorry. It just gets to me, sometimes, that's all. You are good for listing to me, Kitty - that wasn't directed at you, you know - right? Just ambient frustration with the system...

Oh, yea, I do "rock", but only in private. I got punished SO much for it as a kid, that I seldom do it, unless I am alone.

The thing that really saddens me is that I could have gone on to university if my AS had been recognised when I started school. Instead of being bullied to a standstill and flunking everything. Being turned down for college (not intelligent enough they said...).

NT schools are very harsh, callous places for bright aspie kids who really love to learn. It's the playground social stuff and meaningless hierarchies / deference / religion that schools impose on kids the we don't cope with and that overshadowed everything.

Wanting to learn, being quick and bright, being eloquent and having interests others do not understand but not having the seemingly effortless social skills of the others is a sure fire way to get ostracised, beaten (by both teachers and kids) and to make school the single most dreaded, scary, dark, sad places to be forced to go to every day. I hated it!

It was such a waste... it still hurts.


Oh, by the way, if the EP filtering software is getting up your nose, go to your "account settings", and turn the "adult content filter" off, then you can see all the "wordy dirties". Yes, that is me in my avatar. I hate "fake pictures". Clasic avatars, ( like what you have, a cartoon character, or a symbol, or something, is one thing, but posting an actual photo of another person, in order to mis-represent yourself, is another. ) Don't mind me - just one of my bug-a-boos...

Hey, have you ever been somewhere, ( coffee shop? book store?... ), and seen someone sitting there, with their leg "bouncing" like crazy? That's me! I've done that ever since I was a kid, and it seems to really annoy other folks, for some reason. The bad part about it is, it is a sort of "compulsion", I'm afraid, as I can not control when I start, or stop. I really wish I did not do that. I seem to be especially bad about it in the cinema. You know "Happy Feet"? ( I'm like "happy legs", or something! ) I've heard that it is an "Aspie thing", but I don't know?

Mind if I ask you something strange/personal? *If you are shy to post an answer on this, PM me back, please, 'cause I jave no one else to ask. ( Yes, I know I really need to be asking this to another female, but you're all I've got, so... I didn't mean that the way it will probably sound... ) I AM very grateful to have another Aspie to talk to - finally. When you're with someone, does "foreplay" ever bug you? You know, like get on your nerves? It does me. It's like it "winds me up", or something. The problem is, my husband loves it. He seems to actually LIKE being wound up, I don't. He's sort of like a "senic tourist train", and I'm more like the Acella Express, ( a bullet train that runs from BOS to NY ). He says that I always "rush" him, and his "dilly-dallying" gets on my nerves - litteraly. Have you ever dealt with that?

PS : Pardon the mis-spellings; my spellcheck seems to have gone **** up, this morning. By the way, ( and this is totally off the subject ), but do you ever have features/tools, just up and disappear off your toolbar, for no reason at all? ( *Google toolbar ) Wonder what's up with that?

Flirting? I never get that either. I spend so long making sure the girl is really interested I miss out! I'd hate to be considered a thoughtless, crass male just making passes left right and centre and I'd hate for girls to be wary of me or think me pushy, forward or creepy. So I err on the side of caution to the point of never actually asking just in case I upset them. Although.... looking back, my implacable "i can see you're naked and asking for a cuddle but i'll just put the kettle on" stance may have upset a few girls too.

I made it a special study then. Body language, facial expressions etc. so now I manage better than some NTs I know. I think... I try and pick up on inflection of voice or facial expression with Morrigan and i'm either pretty good or she's humouring me. Job to tell...

Is that you in you're avatar JD? Love those piercing light emerald eyes!

I'm a huge documentary watcher too. Top Gear of course! And computers, building them too, music (many and varied.. Sigur Ros from Finnland is the new one for me at the mo...)

Binary code? I've told you about binary 10 times and I won't tell you a 3rd time! (Used to be my sig.)

Anteaters? Brilliant animal! The group nanny software cut in and *** out some of you're words.. bugger! What were they? Ahaaa! p o r n o g r a p h y! Got it...

Counting? I find myself counting steps. Often in blocks of 16 perhaps. Other odd traits? Erm... If I have an itch on one side of my body i'll often scratch both sides to "even things up". This probably applies to lots of bodily sensations. Symmetry hang up i guess.

Often find NTs miss so much! I'll be outside on the step smoking and during a 3 second look at the stars imagine a photon's path through space, curved by the mass of nearby galaxies, man evolving as this little photon speeds across untold millions of light years, finally hitting the earth's atmosphere, diffracted by temperature differences and finally crashing into the receptors in my retina starting a cascade of electrochemical signals to my brain and it being assimilated into the model of the outside world i have constructed therein...... Then an NT will say "Brrrr! Bit chilly eh?" There's no way I could let on what I was thinking without them thinking me totally weird! This is happening a lot of the time and much of it is kept hidden away.

Anyway... I often think an aspie world would be pretty damn cool. Time for us to put our hands up I think. The NTs have made such a mess of things.


Oh, I'm not good with facial expression, at all. I mean, if you're standing over me with bunched eyebrows, bared teeth, and a raised voice - I get it that you're angry. It's the subtleties that get me. I have never been very good at telling what someone wants from me. Like I don't get "flirting" at all, ( and boy has THAT one caused me some grief ). If I want something from someone, I will just tell them. NTs are not like that. I don't understand all the subtleties, nuances, and games of NT interaction. Why don't they just say what they mean, and mean what they say? Life would be SO much easier.

I don't really have the "special interests" anymore, at least not like when I was a kid. ( No freakin' time - work a lot... ) I love anything to do with computers, math, science... I am also into jazz, sci-fi, "dark comics", and a few other things. I have weird taste in telly, ( when I get to watch it ). I am a rabid "Top Gear" fan; I also like "Extreme Engineering", "Robot Wars", and "Myth Busters". My "special interests"/"obsessions" have evolved more into "micro fancys". I am very interested in binary code - it absolutely fascinates me, but I just don't have the time to really get into it. I also have, ( don't laugh ), a "thing" about anteaters. ( I even have an "anteater photo file" on my PC, that I look at when I am sad, or upset. ) *For some strange reason, I am sort of shy/ashamed, ( a little, may be ), about it. ( Good grief you'd think it was ***********, the way I hide, and guard it! ) Well, the anteaters ARE naked... "Anteater ****"? Oh, lets not go there. ( Yes, I know I started it - my bad. ) But, no seriously, that's about it. I like counting, or adding things, too. Like if I am stuck in traffic, and getting upset, I will add the numbers on the licence plates around me. It calms me down for some strange reason. Go figure. How about you? What are you into?

In some ways you sound like me.

It's the other way round with me. I got knocked back very early and i am only just getting back to being "me". It was in a science lesson at school. First year in secondary school, aged 11. Teacher asked what electricity was. I'd been a bit worried about how difficult the new school would be, but this was an easy one. "A charged stream of electrons sir!"...... You could feel the tumbleweed blow across the room as the silence thickened. Not sure what the hell I had said wrong I started to get real embarrassed with everyone looking at me. "No! No! Stammered the teacher.. it's a form of energy!" From this i learnt not to let on that I knew anything or used words that my peer group didn't understand. I've dumbed down my language for years and it's only since being with Morrigan that I am slowly unlearning this. I am getting used to spotting the interested but lost look if i leave people behind but I enjoy language. Often looking into the history of words, common roots, variations and how language changes. New words let you express new ideas. It's the only way I have of getting what's in my head into the thoughts of others.

Thinking about it i may use pictures for overall concepts and some math. But it's not full synesthesia (i wish!) where I can use colours / shapes of numbers to do complicated calculations as others can. I am getting to like my aspie traits and now i am in an environment where I can express them they seem much less prominent and more and more useful.

Penelope Pitstop-Yoda she is y'all... Sounds a cool accent JD. You'd think mine just as strange.

I agree about the bloody 'phone though. I hate answering the damn thing. It'll ring and we will look at it till it stops and then never even pick it up to see if there's been a message left. I'll get all the classic fight or flight symptoms every time it rings. Much happier using my mobile for text.

How are you with facial expression JD? I seem better than a lot of aspies. But then I think the symptoms have been written for kids and younger people. I think i've leared how to cover up much of my aspiehood. Many doctors say it is very difficult to diagnose adult aspies due to these learnt coping strategies. The thing is i can't tell what is what. How do i know how others think or process information? No way of telling...

What about obsessive hobbies, projects JD? Things you've been into for ages but you seem to be the only person you know with that particular hang-up?


I posted in another group/forum called : "I want to enjoy the second half of my life". ( You can find it by clicking on my profile, and looking under "goals". ) I was talking with another Aspie, ( Machinehead ), in there, about how it really gets me down sometimes, to STILL be having AS/NT issues after 21 years of marriage. It's not just social situations that give me grief, it's communication in general, ( verbal, I mean ). I know this sounds weird, but I think in "pictures" and "sensations", and then have to sort of translate that into speech. *I read somewhere about Temple Grandin, ( a famous person with AS ), that she does the same thing. I wonder how many of us suffer with this? It really sucks, because sometimes I desperately need to get something out, ( "talk" ), and can't! It's SO frustrating. However, this does not occur when I write/keyboard. Do you deal with this? I wonder if speech therapy might help? I "sound" like a reasonably intelligent, articulate person in here, but that's ONLY because I'm boarding. In real life I stumble, and trip over words, get nouns and verbs reversed, sometimes stutter, and in general make a mess of "speech" ;-{ * Think "Master Yoda" with a southern accent, after a few too many pints! Ugh - it's AWFUL!

And, the damn telephone is a real disaster. I am the only person I have ever heard of, that has actually tried to flush a phone! ( Yes, "flush", as in down the toilet... ) My exasperated NT hubby had to fish it out with a coat hanger, while jigging up and down on crossed legs. ( That was the day the lilac bushes got "watered" from the second floor. )

OMG, Laz - I didn't know you were Morrigan's Sweetie! Oh, so good to meet you! *Damn, I sure do wish you two weren't so far away... Thank you for your post, though. Yes, I am the same way with my mate, although I am very independent, and do like "flying solo sometimes".

I am very familiar with WrongPlanet, although I haven't been back since they were hacked, ( about a year/16mths ago, maybe ). To be honest, it kind of scared me off. Despite having two firewalls, and being diligent with my "window washing", we have still had our own problems with hackers and identity theft. ( I never thought that having good credit, or making a decent living, might work against me, but there you are... ) Anyhow, no I haven't been there in a while.

Funny you mentioning that thing with symmetry... I had that when I was younger, and the "odd/even thing", as well. I still have the "sensory overload issues" though. I carry dark glasses, and earplugs with me at all times. Grocery stores, and shopping malls are bad, but I think airports are the worst, for me, personally. I can't stand social gatherings, or God-forbid a party, but do sometimes attend concerts, or other performing art venues.

Social exchanges/situations are the VERY worst for me. And, wouldn't you know it, I am married to a "social butterfly". My guy has the personality of a golden retriever - to him, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met. Ugh, drives me crazy, sometimes... I will try to get back in here later, or tomorrow; I gotta go fix supper, right now.

MadMorrigan thought I was just being difficult for years. She was making my coffee one day (I had worked out how to get the hottest coffee with the most milk in... a little simple thermodynamics, nothing complicated) and she said "You've thought about this haven't you?"

Well, yes... I had. That was it. She told me to go look up AS online. She showed me the excellent

and i realised she may have a point! I too have no real friends, just happy with her. Am uncomfortable with other men, happiest in the company of women. I can't do all that macho / sport / misogyny stuff. I am considered a geek and intelligent even though I know i know nothing compared to others. Flunked school, got turned down for college. Build my own computers, have a physics / cosmology hang-up.

Am a strong atheist having never believed the madness of religion and can't leave the car radio volume on an odd number (15 bad, 16 good). Asymmetry is often physically uncomfortable. Symmetry is pleasing to me.

I'm so glad she stuck it out long enough to suss me out. I thought the rest of the planet was stark raving mad! Things that seem obvious and simple to me leave NT's (Neurologically Typical or normal people) looking baffled. I have trouble with screaming babies, busy supermarkets and stupid people. Love to debate but find NT's tend to take things too personally just because I disagree with them and can explain why I do. I can't see the point of agreeing with people just make them happy.

MadMorrigan thinks i am too co-dependant but I just feel whole when we are together. Happy to spend all our time together. This is considered a problem amongst NT's it seems. But I thought this was the point of love! Happy to be together and sad when you're apart. I'll never understand their partial logic.

Ask away JD. It'll be good to swap experiences...