My Whole Life....

I have had asthma for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest, and most vivid, childhood memories are of being hospitalized. I think somewhere late in my teens I found good control, and for several years I had very little trouble, but for the last 10 years it's been back and it's as ugly as ever. It hasn't helped that at times I was without insurance, or the insurance I had was crappy so I didn't manage my care as well as I should.  I hate it. I hate worrying about catching a sniffle, or being around a cat or getting a cough, because it seems that lately everything triggers an asthma attack. Sometimes I can get things under control at home, but more often than not I end up at the doc. or the ER for more steroids and breathing treatments, which make me feel jittery and jumpy. It it depressing to always think everything through as it relates to my asthma, such as whether or not to walk the dog, or for how long a walk, or whether or not it is a good day to go on a bike ride with the kids, or simple things like being in places where people wear lots of perfume, or cleaning my house (I am limited as the the chemical products that I can use).  It's crazy how much my life revolves around asthma. I'm not really a complainer, just kind of fed up lately. I am going to try to get in to a new allergy and asthma specialist in my area...there's not much where I live, so I feel pretty excited about having a group of docs. that specialize in this disease. I'm not sure that people without asthma can appreciate the true impact that the disease can have on your life, or how terrifying the illness can be. I am just so glad that none of my kids has the disease~~sigh!!

In 1999 I saw someone die from this disease...what's worse is that I saw a 9 year old little girl watch her father die. I was at a gas station and a little girl came running in saying that her dad was sick so of course people went running. He was a trucker just passing through town and his daughter was riding with him and he was having an asthma attack. He died that day, right there in the parking lot. I don't think they pronounced him there, but he certainly died there. I will never forget that as long as I live, and I try to take care of myself because I don't want that to be me with my kids or, someday, grandkids.

Asthma sucks. I hope someone finds a better treatment for it someday....

okay, I am done ranting and raving....

cc5439 cc5439
41-45, F
1 Response Oct 12, 2009

Sounds like you had a wake up call. I myself just had one recently and went back to the doctor specifically for my asthma. I hadn't really done anything about it in the last few years, but now I am more actively watching my environment for triggers.