Thunderstorms

my name is angela carter and i am 20 years old and i live in Pa.when i hear thunder i hear fear something in my mind automatically thinks somthing bad is going to happen. It gets me in a panic mod where i am frequently going to the bathroom and shaking. It makes my heart beat fast then normal. It worries me because i will never have a normal life. When i hear the thunderder i go into fright mod very quickly i am always looking out the window.i get this stomach ach and the feeling of depression. When my kids are scared of the storm it make me want to cry because i cant even tell them its ok because they know i am afraid to. I just hate my self. My body just knows when a storm is coming it starts having pains and frequent using the bathroom i wont eat because i am to nervus and i wont even sit still because i am looking at every window in my house. I just dont know what to do. the one day we had a storm and it was around 11 it woke me up in a deep sleep i had my head burried in a my pillows and blanket on top. i was shivering that it shook the whole bed i had to us the bathroom every 5 seconds i had to cover my ears so i wouldent hear it pass by. everyday it gets worse not even medacation helps me. its been with me for so many years. I am afraid to stay in my own house when a storm accurs. I would have to be in a house that has a basement or some sort of shelter. My health seems like its gone down the drain i am losing weight, i am not eating when storms accured i am afaid of my own house my boyfriend doesnt want to leave because its a trailor and we own it. he doest seem to understand what i am going through. He thinks its nonsence. because i am tweenty and scared of thunder. just writting this story makes me think of thunder and it makes me feel sick inside and makes me shake and want to cry.
acarter22 acarter22
18-21
Sep 7, 2012