I Have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
Struggling As A Mother, Girlfriend, Employee, And Student With Adult Add
By:
wanderingcookie
Written on June 6th, 2011
I'm a bit tired from work, so I'll try to sum this up best I can.
I was finally officially diagnosed at age 16 with 'pretty bad ADD' and prescribed Adderall. I should have been diagnosed sooner, but my parents are very religious and it took a lot of convincing from myself and others that I needed professional help. I loved the Adderall at first. I finally felt in control and focused. However, after a few months, it made me feel...numb. Not depressed, but not happy either, just numb. On top of that, the price skyrocketed, and since I was finished with high school, my parents quit getting it for me. I began giving into addictions like drinking, cigarettes, drugs. I couldn't focus on a job very well, and job-hopped a lot.
Fast forward a year and a half (I know it seems like I'm skipping a lot, but I'm trying to stay on topic) I had cleaned up my life and met my love. I was a rabid chain smoker still, however (partially because I didn't want to gain the weight I had lost with Adderall from the previous year). He was allergic to cigarette smoke, and after a few failed attempts, I quit smoking. Unfortunately, I replaced that need to be doing something constantly with eating. I found out I was pregnant and decided to keep my daughter (best desicion of my life). We are a very happy, normal family despite the fact that we had a baby young (I was 19, he was 22 at the time of her birth).
I feel we could be so much happier, however, if it wasn't for my ADD. I feel fine, but I have random outbursts that stress my daughter and boyfriend out severely. They don't happen often and never last more than a few minutes, if that, but I hate that I lack the control to just calm down. I'm having a hard time losing weight as I can't stay focused on a diet/excercise regimine, and I never lost that feeling of need to be doing something constantly. I've tried to go to college, and when I DO make myself focus, I can confidently say I understand things quickly. The hard thing is staying focused. I sometimes just want to cry because I feel it's getting worse...I can't even read for pleasure without randomly getting lost in a daydream mid-paragraph. I want to do well in college for my family so I can get a better job. (My job is okay, but not what I want to do forever).
I also hate that my boyfriend and friends think from time to time that I am just flat out ignoring them, when I really am trying to pay attention, I just can't control it. I feel lost...the medicine is far too expensive, and I'm having a hard time finding alternatives to help.
I feel better finding this group, I hope to get some advice that could help me. :]
I was finally officially diagnosed at age 16 with 'pretty bad ADD' and prescribed Adderall. I should have been diagnosed sooner, but my parents are very religious and it took a lot of convincing from myself and others that I needed professional help. I loved the Adderall at first. I finally felt in control and focused. However, after a few months, it made me feel...numb. Not depressed, but not happy either, just numb. On top of that, the price skyrocketed, and since I was finished with high school, my parents quit getting it for me. I began giving into addictions like drinking, cigarettes, drugs. I couldn't focus on a job very well, and job-hopped a lot.
Fast forward a year and a half (I know it seems like I'm skipping a lot, but I'm trying to stay on topic) I had cleaned up my life and met my love. I was a rabid chain smoker still, however (partially because I didn't want to gain the weight I had lost with Adderall from the previous year). He was allergic to cigarette smoke, and after a few failed attempts, I quit smoking. Unfortunately, I replaced that need to be doing something constantly with eating. I found out I was pregnant and decided to keep my daughter (best desicion of my life). We are a very happy, normal family despite the fact that we had a baby young (I was 19, he was 22 at the time of her birth).
I feel we could be so much happier, however, if it wasn't for my ADD. I feel fine, but I have random outbursts that stress my daughter and boyfriend out severely. They don't happen often and never last more than a few minutes, if that, but I hate that I lack the control to just calm down. I'm having a hard time losing weight as I can't stay focused on a diet/excercise regimine, and I never lost that feeling of need to be doing something constantly. I've tried to go to college, and when I DO make myself focus, I can confidently say I understand things quickly. The hard thing is staying focused. I sometimes just want to cry because I feel it's getting worse...I can't even read for pleasure without randomly getting lost in a daydream mid-paragraph. I want to do well in college for my family so I can get a better job. (My job is okay, but not what I want to do forever).
I also hate that my boyfriend and friends think from time to time that I am just flat out ignoring them, when I really am trying to pay attention, I just can't control it. I feel lost...the medicine is far too expensive, and I'm having a hard time finding alternatives to help.
I feel better finding this group, I hope to get some advice that could help me. :]
By:
wanderingcookie
Age:
18-21
,
Female
