Awesomeness² (or The Preeminent Perogatives Of Apparent Awesomeness.)

It's simply the manifest gift, nay, mayhap 'tis a burden that I must bear, emanating sheer and unbridled awesomeness where ever I might venture; like a hot dog needs a bun, like Abbot needs Costello, like a flower needs the sun, awesomeness has spun its enchanted web about me as a such a fine and exquisite garment that verily, it might be said that thine Emperor is naked-yet still quite dashing while paradoxically retaining such a manifest modesty so thoroughly becoming, yet wrapped to such an incredible degree of wholesomeness, and so enraptured in its entirely of radiant awesomeness, that it doth seem to defy the very laws of physics that a mortal shell might hold it. It can be rightly claimed that this extraordinary quotient of awesomeness defies proper description of a fraction of, let alone all of it's infinitely exquisite finery. 

Such august resplendency is of such a nature that initially the EPA sought to restrict or otherwise contain the radiance of Awesomeness, not knowing the exposure of what tolerance range might be for the typical Human Being, while their scientists scrambled to find a way to tap such potential, certain that its promise of a clean energy source whose potential was geometrically superior to any cold fusion reactor.

Therefor, and with my most generous permission, they used radiant awesome energy traps, very similar to what one would see in the Ghost Busters movies in order to study this phenomenon, and they missed the irony when they told me how awesome it was that I agreed to lend some for scientific study and analysis. 

Further they were most gracious in accepting the cheap sunglasses I normally carry about; as those not accustomed to such benevolent beamage might find optical discomfort as the pupils widen in wonder, as opposed to dilating under similar, yet more usual and mundane exposures of light...and this being said in all modesty, of course.